Not that long ago, I started sharing some advice on my stories from my therapist. I swear, I am so lucky. I got myself a really good one. She is crazy smart, cool , calm, collected and neutral and she helps me go through life. I decided to add this feature to my BMAC, not necessarily weekly, but if I ever have a conversation with her that I think is worth sharing, I decided you are the people I'd want to share it with.
Might seem cheesy, but you are a close friend of mine, or that is how I see it.
We were talking about how much we both hate the "grind" culture. The hustle gang. The people who make motivational videos online and have pages dedicated to: wake up at four am, go for a 10 mile run, eat eggs and snort protein powder. Make a million dollars before you're 25. Start your own company, be your own entrepreneur. Read a billion books a year. Listen to 20 podcasts at the same time and do it at 3x speed.
It annoys me to no end. They don't see how toxic and disgusting this mentality is. It just paints the picture that you have absolute no value unless you are making money and moving mountains daily. It's the capitalist hustle culture that erases any pains, disabilities, mental health issues, financial history and it also erases who you are as an individual and how you were raised. Even though they like to call that hustle culture the "individualism" culture.
My therapist tells me constantly: none of our views have to be this divisive. You hating the hustle culture does not mean you don't believe in improving yourself. You hating this toxic mindset, does not mean this mindset has no value at all.
It's basically what I try to achieve constantly with my negative reviews, me hating a book does not mean that I don't recognize the value it has or how difficult writing a book is. Criticizing something, does not automatically turn that thing into something invalid. You can always learn, absorb and take away great things even from the harshest criticisms.
Where am I going with that? Well, we don't have to stand by hustle culture, but does that mean we can't improve ourselves? No. Imagine how you feel about your children, your family, your best friend.
You are constantly worried if they are eating well, sleeping well, exercising, if they've been to the doctor recently. If they started that project they've been talking about for ages.
You are constantly checking up on your loved ones and you get ANGRY if they do something out of character, something that could harm them, you get disappointed if they give up on things because you know how amazing they are, how much potential they actually have. You know how much they can do and how intelligent and funny and loving they are. You tell them they deserve the world.
Tell yourself that today. Yell at yourself, you don't have to wake up at five am everyday, but don't you believe you can do more? Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: don't I deserve more? And what am I going to do to get it?
An earlier bedtime today, 2 extra liters of water tomorrow, moving your body for YOUR mental health, for you. Putting your phone down to finish that book you've been telling yourself you were going to finish months ago. Setting aside 30 minutes a day to work on that project you've been telling yourself you were going to start since you were 15... Oh but I have a full time job, I have kids, I am exhausted, my mood is constantly shifting...
I get it. I really do. You deserve to listen to yourself and you deserve to rest, you deserve to take breaks. But you also deserve to call yourself out on your own bullshit. Let's face it, no one knows how much we bullshit ourselves other than... us. You know the shit you've been avoiding out of fear, you know how much you've been self sabotaging. You know.
Does that mean you are going to need to wake up a little earlier everyday? Maybe. But don't you think you deserve that sacrifice to make something bigger happen for yourself?
My point here is: get mad at yourself today and turn that rage into - I will NO LONGER allow myself to be doing the same things everyday while expecting the same results. You don't need to kill yourself to make things happen, but you do need to love yourself in the ruthless way your mother would.
GO TO BED, DRINK SOME WATER, GO STUDY, GO PRACTICE YOUR CRAFT, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, CLEAN YOUR ENVIRONMENT, FOLD YOUR FUCKING LAUNDRY AND TAKE THOSE CUPS BACK INTO THE KITCHEN THAT HAVE BEEN SITTING YOUR ROOM FOR DAYS.
You can be so much more and you know it.
Love u
EB