Lately, I’ve been feeling a force pulling me in the direction of change. I think part of it comes from realizing that I’m starting to outgrow certain parts of my life.
It’s not necessarily what I want, but I’ve noticed there are things that need to change.
Personally, I’ve never been good with life changes. I’ve always been more comfortable living in what I call my comfort bubble. I enjoy and crave familiarity. I choose to live amongst the memories I’ve made, almost as though I’m still walking through them in real time.
I hang onto relationships because they’ve proven longevity. If someone has been in my life for years, I have a hard time imagining my life without them.
But there is an ache that comes with holding onto the past while being fearful of stepping into an unknown future.
I’ve realized there is less room for improvement in my life when I hold so tightly to the things I’ve grown comfortable with.
And I’ve started asking myself:
Am I holding onto these things because I want to, or because I think I have to?
Certain things don’t feel as important as they used to. The things I once made time for don’t sound as appealing. Certain people don’t fit into my life the same way they used to. Even the way I spend my free time has changed.
There are parts of my life I don’t think I would choose anymore.
And I’ve realized that I’m not the same person I was when those things were a part of my life.
To put it bluntly, I’ve changed.
My priorities have changed. What I enjoy has changed. What I need from the people around me has changed. Even my idea of what a good life looks like has changed.
For me, one of the hardest changes has been letting go of certain relationships.
I’ve always had a hard time letting people go. I’ve struggled with the idea of someone not being in my life anymore, especially when they’ve been there for a long time.
But I’ve grown.
And I know now that certain people just aren’t meant to stay forever. I’m finally getting to a place where I can be okay with that.
Even some of the relationships I have now are slowly fading away.
I used to think it was because of something I had done to cause it. But I’m realizing that sometimes people just grow apart.
It’s not that there’s no care or support there. Sometimes it’s simply time to move on when a relationship is no longer what it used to be, or when the people in it have changed.
And I’m coming around to being okay with that too.
I know relationships can fade with time. It’s just that I tend to hold onto every last little bit of hope.
That’s just who I am.
But I’m learning that holding onto a person because of the past doesn’t mean I have to hold them to who they used to be.
People change. I change. And sometimes the relationship changes with us.
I’ve realized that some friendships can be incredibly important to you for years and still eventually become part of a chapter that has ended.
That doesn’t erase what the friendship meant.
It doesn’t mean someone was a bad person or that the entire relationship was a mistake.
Sometimes two people just grow in different directions.
I think that’s one of the harder parts of outgrowing a version of your life.
You can miss something and still know you don’t want it back.
You can look at an old version of yourself with a lot of understanding and still not want to become her again.
I’ve started paying more attention to what feels right now instead of automatically reaching for what used to feel right.
I guess that’s what growing up actually looks like.
I always held onto Peter Pan’s idea of never growing up. I liked the idea of staying somewhere familiar, where nothing really had to change and you could keep living in the same little world forever.
But we can’t always live in that fantasy world.
At some point, you have to grow.
And I’m learning that when something no longer fits, I can let myself let it go.
I’m sure there are still parts of my life I’ll outgrow. There will probably be things I love right now that won’t make sense for me down the road.
And I don’t think that’s something I’m as afraid of anymore.
I’d rather keep changing than stay somewhere just because it’s familiar.
Outgrowing a version of your life isn’t about losing yourself.
It’s about finally making room for who you are now.
Podcast Episode: When You Outgrow a Version of Your Life
What is something in your life that you may have outgrown but are still holding onto?
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”— Alan Watts
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