Revival Must Begin With Me
Do Not Let Your Gift Convince You That God Is Finished Dealing With Your Heart
There is something frightening about discovering that you can still function while you are struggling.
You can still pray.
You can still praise.
You can still worship.
You can still minister.
You can still write something that touches somebody else's heart while God is putting His finger on something hidden in yours.
I know because I am walking through this right now.
And part of good teaching is having the courage to tell people not only where Christ has brought you, but also where Christ is bringing you through right now.
I am not sharing this because I have arrived.
I have not.
I am sharing it because I am learning that testimony does not always have to begin after the battle is completely over. Sometimes somebody needs to hear from a believer who can say:
“I am still fighting! I am still surrendering, I am still being corrected, I am still being changed. I am not where I need to be yet, however, by the grace of Jesus Christ, I am not where I started either.”
There are things Christ has already delivered me from, and there are areas where He is still teaching me how to walk in the freedom He purchased for me.
That does not give me permission to excuse sin, it gives me a reason to keep fighting it.
And maybe somebody reading this does not need another testimony from someone standing on the other side shouting, “Look what I overcame!”
Maybe they need someone still climbing the mountain to turn around, extend a hand, and say, “Keep climbing. Christ is changing me too.”
Satan has stepped up his attacks against me. There have been moments when I sought to self-medicate in secret. Moments when I pleasured myself in secret, trying to satisfy something I felt was being ignored. Moments when I hid the struggle behind pictures, smiles, food, laughter, ministry, and productivity.
And yet, I could still get up and PRAISE GOD!
I could still write.
I could still minister.
People could still be blessed through the gift God placed in me.
And THAT is what scared me.
Because the operation of the gift does not necessarily mean everything inside the vessel has been surrendered.
David cried in Psalm 51:10 (AMPC) for God to, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.”
That has become my cry!
Lord, do not just use me, clean me.
Do not just give me words that convict other people, convict me.
Do not allow ministry to become the curtain I hide behind while You are calling me in my secret place, to come to you in yours.
Beloved, somebody needs to hear this, your struggle does not mean you should stop fighting, and your gift does not mean you can stop surrendering.
You may genuinely love Jesus and still have something that needs to die.
You may genuinely be anointed and still need repentance.
You may minister publicly while bleeding privately.
You may carry God-given gifts while fighting an ungodly appetite.
Do not make peace with what the Holy Spirit is still convicting you about!
FIGHT!
Pray again.
Repent again.
Get up again.
Run to Jesus again.
Ask for grace again.
And when you fall, do not build a house where you fell. GET UP!
I refuse to hide behind ministry.
I refuse to let what God does through me distract me from what God wants to do in me.
My prayer is simple, Lord, I do not just want to be gifted. I want to be clean.
Purify my heart.
Deal with me in the secret place.
Expose what I have tried to cover.
Strengthen me where I am weak.
Rekindle Your fire within me.
Teach me to surrender what I keep trying to manage.
And let my testimony never become, “Look how strong I was.”
Let my testimony always be, “Look how faithful Jesus Christ was while He was changing me.”
Because before I cry out for revival in the Church…
Before I cry out for revival in America…
Before I cry out for revival in somebody else's home…
REVIVAL MUST BEGIN WITH ME!
Two Questions For Today
Are you using your struggle as an excuse to surrender to sin, or are you allowing Christ to turn the very place where you keep falling into the place where you finally learn to depend completely upon Him?
And can you honestly say, “I am not there yet, however, because of Jesus Christ, I am no longer where I started”?
If You Have Ears To Hear, Then Hear It!
I pray for you each and every day.
All God's Best!
Karl McKinnie
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