God, Teach Me to Forget What I Have Already Forgiven
When You Have Forgiven the Person, Yet You Are Still Living With the Consequences, Ask God to Deliver You From the Prison of “What If?”
This Dominion Short is very personal.
Those of you who follow me or Dominion Renaissance Ministries know that I have undergone three back-to-back-to-back eye surgeries. The challenges have been and still remain tremendous. Some days my eye adjusts and I function reasonably well, and on other days, visually, I simply cannot function the way I once did.
And here is where this becomes difficult.
After the first surgery, everything was superb. 20/20 vision, for the first time in my life.
Then a decision was made by someone who wanted things done her way, and her way alone. I had made a different decision, one that still would have accomplished the desired objective, yet my decision was not respected.
Things went off the rails.
Two more surgeries followed, for High ocular pressure, and then an iris that had to be stitched back into place on my cornea
I know she did not intend for any of this to happen, and I have forgiven her.
However I am discovering something about forgiveness that perhaps someone reading this needs to hear, You can forgive somebody and still struggle with the consequences of what happened.
When I cannot drive, sometimes my mind says, “What if?”
When I cannot read, “What if?”
When I cannot comfortably enjoy the sunlight, “What if?”
When I struggle to watch my grandsons at their outdoor events, “What if?”
And today my prayer has become, God, teach me to forget what I have already forgiven.
Not to erase the historical memory from my brain, and pretend it never happened. And also not deny the consequences I am still dealing with.
Lord, Teach me to stop emotionally reopening a case that forgiveness was supposed to close.
Hebrews 8:12 (AMPC) tells us, “For I will be merciful and gracious toward their sins and I will remember their deeds of unrighteousness no more.”
Look at that!
God does not repeatedly drag the forgiven believer back into the courtroom and rehearse the evidence.
He remembers our sins no more.
So why do we keep rehearsing what somebody did to us?
Why do we keep mentally returning to the intersection where life could have gone differently?
Why do we keep torturing ourselves with;
“What if they had listened?” “What if they had respected my decision?” “What if they had not done that?” “What if I had stopped them?” “What if things had gone differently?”
Beloved, “what if” cannot rewrite yesterday.
It can only steal peace from today.
Philippians 3:13-14 (AMPC) says, “I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.”
Did you catch that?
"FORGETTING WHAT LIES BEHIND AND STRAINING FORWARD TO WHAT LIES AHEAD!"
I cannot simultaneously keep staring backward at “what if” and press forward toward, “what now, Lord?”
And neither can you.
Maybe somebody hurt you.
Maybe somebody made a decision that changed your life.
Maybe you are still living with physical, emotional, relational, or financial consequences from something somebody else did.
Maybe you genuinely forgave them, yet every time the consequence shows up, the offense tries to introduce itself again.
That is where I am fighting.
And perhaps that is where you are fighting too.
Isaiah 43:18-19 (AMPC) says, “Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
God did not tell us to pretend yesterday never happened.
He told us not to live there.
I have forgiven.
Now I am asking God to teach me how to stop allowing every difficult visual moment to become an invitation to revisit the offense.
I do not want my present challenge to keep resurrecting yesterday's pain.
I don't want “what if?”
I want, “What now, God?”
What are You teaching me now?
How will You use me now?
How will You strengthen me now?
How will You receive glory from me now?
How can this testimony help somebody else now?
Because God is not sitting in Heaven saying, “What if?”
And neither should His children spend their lives imprisoned there.
Forgiveness says, “You no longer owe me.”
Faith says, “God still has my future.”
And spiritual maturity eventually has to say, “I refuse to keep reopening what I have already placed under the blood.”
So this Dominion Short is as much for me, in fact maybe even more, as it is for anybody reading it. In fact when God took me here, Isaiah 43:18-19 (AMPC), “Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” I could only smile and say. ThankYou Lord!
Father, I have forgiven, now teach me to forget.
Teach me to stop rehearsing.
Teach me to stop calculating what life might have looked like.
Teach me to stop visiting alternate versions of a yesterday that cannot be changed.
Teach me to see what You are doing now.
Teach me to trust You with what happened, what remains, and whatever comes next.
And every time “what if?” tries to rise in my mind, Holy Spirit, teach me to answer, “WHAT NOW, GOD?”
Question For Today
You say you have forgiven them, so why are you still allowing “what if they had never done it?” to occupy the place in your mind where “what is God going to do with me now?” belongs?
If You Have Ears To Hear, Then Hear It!
I pray for you each and every day.
All God's Best!
Karl McKinnie
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