I like music.
I’m putting those words at the top of this piece to ward off the inevitable comments of “Well, you must hate music.”
So now that we have THAT covered . . .
I met a friend at a coffee shop to catch up and talk a little business. There was a smattering of other people in the place, mostly singles on their laptops, but three tables had two people like us, talking.
That’s what coffee shops have become: a place to either get some work done, or to chat with a friend, colleague, or potential hire.
This particular shop, however, had music playing over the speakers. Loud music. Not soft background stuff to provide a little atmosphere. It was at a volume where my friend and I had to lean across the table at times to hear each other.
I glanced around at the other patrons. The singles who were on their laptops had put on headphones, maybe to play their own choice of tunes. But I suspect they were also simply trying to block the cacophony of awful music blaring from the speakers.
So I must ask—and remember the disclaimer at the top: Why is it so hard to go anywhere these days where you’re not assaulted by music?
Now multiply this by everything
I used to be a season ticket holder for a certain Major League Baseball team. I went to about 12 to 15 games a year. And if you want Exhibit A of how Americans cannot be left to their own thoughts for ten seconds without a loud infusion of music, go to a pro baseball game.
They don’t just blast music or sound effects between innings or between batters.
They blast music or sound effects BETWEEN EVERY SINGLE PITCH.
You can’t sit there and enjoy the game with a friend without a wave of music every few seconds.
Are you kidding me? Must we have audio stimulation even at a baseball game? I think we’re capable of enjoying the game for a few minutes without “EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS” or “CHARGE!” That’s not excitement. It’s artificial enthusiasm.
I’ve watched. About 95 of every 100 people are ignoring the incessant encouragement to clap and scream. Hit a home run and we’ll cheer. I don’t need to cheer ball two.
Every grocery store. Every retail store. Every restaurant. Every doctor’s office. Every office, period.
When I board a flight these days, they’re piping music through the entire cabin. Yes, they play boarding music, because . . . why? We can’t find our seat without Mariah Carey to guide us?
Music at all times, and in all places. Non-stop.
There is no escape.
The pub that will never exist
A buddy of mine is in the restaurant business. He owns three of them and is always on the lookout for another venture. When I stopped in one day, he was sitting at a table with his business partner, and they had a question for me.
“We’re talking about opening a new bar and restaurant, Dom. What do you think this city needs? What is it missing?”
I was ready for this question. It was something I’d been thinking about for a long time, and I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Someone was asking me to share my grand idea—someone who could actually implement that idea.
“I’ll tell you what this town needs,” I said, warming to the task, barely able to mask my excitement. “A pub. Like a real English pub. No blaring music, no overwhelming TVs everywhere. Just a nice, quiet place where people can drink and talk. That’s what adults want. A place to drink and talk.”
The two of them stared at me for a moment, and for those fleeting seconds I thought I’d scored. They were surely going to nod and say, “You know, Dom, you’re absolutely right. What a killer idea!”
But then I landed with a thud back in this universe. Instead of nodding, they both shook their heads. “Nah,” the business partner said. “Thanks anyway,” added my friend, and they went back to laying out another loud business concept.
The suggestion of a place without constant music has become alien. Apparently it’s unthinkable. We must have music slamming into our ears everywhere we go.
To hell with your private thoughts! Here’s “Sweet Home Alabama” for the 10 millionth time!
What’s the point of the noise?
So now the question becomes: Why?
Sure, I’ve heard about the studies that show restaurants turn tables more rapidly if they play upbeat music. People shovel the food into their mouths faster, I guess.
Hurry up! Eat! Eat! EAT! Then get the hell out!
But does that explain every other outlet? I’m not going to watch the baseball game any faster.
Some people point to studies that show music in a retail outlet creates a “positive atmosphere,” making people more comfortable and more likely to spend.
Really? I mean, REALLY? If we hear music every single place we go, why won’t we buy in Store B if we didn’t buy in Store A? They both fill our heads with tunes.
If Store B has fair prices and excellent customer service, I’m much more likely to buy something than if Ed Sheeran is accosting me throughout the store.
No offense, Ed.
I’ve asked people about this—even talked about it on the radio show—and I got a flood of people calling me a grouch, which makes me chuckle. If I said, “Never play another song anywhere, ever again,” then I can see the charge applying.
But simply asking for an occasional break? THAT makes me a grouch?
*smh
Silence isn’t the enemy
I believe the non-stop music is there to fill the heads of people who’ve been trained to avoid silence at all costs. In fact, there’s even a term that’s been used for years: an uncomfortable silence. I’m afraid people have taken that phrase literally, and now equate any silence with something awkward, or even unbearable.
Take the noise away and some people don’t know what to do with themselves.
I represent the segment of the population that’s totally okay with whatever thoughts are already in our heads. Or, when we’re at a bar with friends, we’re confident we can entertain ourselves without the classic rock soundtrack. If we’re at a ball game, we want to talk and catch up, anyway. Give the organ player a few innings off to go grab a smoke or something.
We’ll be fine with a little bit of silence.
Not every moment needs a soundtrack.
Dom Testa writes fiction and nonfiction and prefers his enthusiasm unmanufactured.
Find most of his work at DomTestaBooks.com.