Quickly answering the question in the title, I will say "yes, achieving happiness is possible". But as always there is a "but".
In this article we will talk about:
what happiness is and for whom it is available;
circle of life balance and 9 spheres of life;
exercises that will help improve your level of life satisfaction today.
What is happiness?
In the minds of many people, "happiness" is an ephemeral unattainable ideal of life. Often this image is so blurred and far from reality that thinking about achieving it simply makes no sense.
So before we begin, let's agree on what I mean when I use the word "happiness." Happiness is a state of complete satisfaction with life, a feeling of true acceptance and joy. That's what Googling says, and it's still a bit vague and abstract. I will allow myself to reduce and clarify.
As for me, happiness is when I enjoy my life.
It sounds quite simple and at the same time gives understanding. But still, what is happiness for you?
Success does not guarantee happiness
We live in a time of consumption and achievement. Advertising, social networks, and society are constantly attacking us from all sides. In such conditions, it is difficult to maintain a sense of internal balance. Society tells us what we need to be to feel successful. Or what others want us to be.
We are surrounded on all sides by beautiful pictures, loud emotions, and false desires. "Buy the smartphone of your dreams, buy the car of your dreams, buy the house of your dreams, find a girl of your dreams, make the career of your dreams, create the company of your dreams, and then maybe you will become happy ..." They sell us all these things, promising that it will bring us happiness. But in fact, "successful success" only excites the boundless desires of the ego. That will never be enough.
What about reality? Are many "successful" people really happy? No! I coach entrepreneurs, creative people, and celebrities, and I can say this from my personal experience.
Those we want to be like are often even more unhappy than ordinary people. They have a high level of stress and responsibility, no space and energy for personal life, an unhealthy schedule, lack of time for their hobbies, and a lot of mental problems.
Those famous people who we are want to be like are often even more unhappy than ordinary people. They have a high level of stress and responsibility, no space and energy for personal life, an unhealthy schedule, lack of time for their hobbies, and a lot of mental problems.
Kurt Cobain, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe - all of them were successful world-famous artists and committed suicide. Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates are the richest businessmen in the world, but this did not save them from divorce. And how many stars suffer from drug and alcohol addiction...
Neither fame nor money will guarantee us personal happiness. But it will need a lot of energy and time.
Success has much less of an effect on happiness than we used to think. And sometimes it even harms. Often, extreme success in one area leads to terrible distortions in, no less important, others. Do you doubt it?
Then give yourself an honest answer:
Will you be happy to have a wonderful relationship with a loved one, if in the outside world you are waiting for constant quarrels with others?
Will you be happy having a great relationship with other people, but not realizing yourself in work or creativity?
Will you be happy with a happy family and friends, time for hobbies and creativity, a great career and a good material base, but at the same time losing your mental or physical health? (Of course not!)
I think you understand the course of thought.
But what if I say that happiness is real and achievable? You can still change your life and become one of those who will say "I lived this life happily and I do not regret anything."
If you live a moderate life, have a hobby, earn enough to meet your needs, eat well, sleep well - then you are much closer to a happy life than most billionaires and celebrities. If most of the time you can enjoy your life, it means that most of the time you can be happy.
What is the Life Balance Circle for?
Life is a process, and happiness is also a process. Happiness has many spheres because life has many spheres.
I identify 9 spheres of life that need to be balanced to achieve happiness:
Relationships
Sphere of love and acceptance. Good relationships with yourself and others are an important part of everyone's life. There are no happy people without happy relationships.
Creativity
Sphere of freedom and self-expression. Here lives our inner child. The process of creation brings us closer to a true sense of self. In creativity, we can express ourselves as we really are, without masks and labels.
Self-realization
Sphere of achievements and recognition. It is a work process, a profession, a craft, a career, a business - and the value we create to gain a share of social wealth and fame.
Health
Sphere of mental and physical. This is our body, the food from which we build it, activity and rest, emotions, well-being. Healthy body healthy mind.
Skills
Sphere of skills and experience. This is what helps us to realize our plans. Any desire cannot be realized without the necessary ability to do so
Wealth
Sphere of material well-being. The body needs food and comfort, self-realization and creativity need tools. It doesn't have to be immense wealth, but we need prosperity to believe in tomorrow..
Leisure
Sphere of living space and entertainment. How and where we spend our precious time. What we see and feel. What gives us experience and restores balance.
Culture
Sphere of knowledge and awareness. Something that helps us navigate the flow of life. Culture allows us to understand the context of other people and gives us an advantage.
Charity
The sphere of feeling is the highest mission. The ability to leave a part of yourself in the existence of other living beings. Where we can show our highest qualities without expecting anything back. Ability to give.
I will tell you more about each sphere of life and their division according to the principles of manifestation and influence in separate articles. In Extras, you can also download the Life Balance Circle in good quality for free.
But just now think about each of the 9 areas of your life and rate how satisfied you are with the state of affairs on a scale from 0 to 1. Where 0 means complete hopelessness and 1 is a feeling of unconditional happiness and fulfillment of all dreams. Anything above 0.5 is good well-being, 0.7 is the point where you are happy, your wishes are fulfilled and you are ready to make your dreams come true.
The formula of happiness
If we imagine for a moment that life can be expressed by a mathematical equation, then life is energy multiplied by time.
Energy is a component that depends on you. The amount of energy and the level of happiness are interrelated.
Time cannot be controlled, it either exists or it does not. Time is the universal currency of existence. One second is one second, for everyone.
As long as you have both energy and time, you are alive. Otherwise, you are either a stone hanging in space and time, or your biological clock has stopped.
You are reading these lines, so I can safely say that you have both time and energy. This means that you are alive and can change the state of things!
It is more difficult to talk about the level of happiness as a mathematical equation. To do this, we will add rates of all spheres of life and divide them by their number (9).
Example:
(Relationships 0.7 + Creativity 0.8 + Realization 0.5 + Health 0.8 + Skills 0.6 + Wealth 0.4 + Leisure 0.7 + Culture 0.6 + Charity 0.3) / 9 = 5.4 / 9 = 0.6
In this way, we can see which areas are weaker and which are stronger. The end result shows that the overall happiness rate is 0.6, or 60% life satisfaction.
Remember that life is energy multiplied by time. In most cases, a weak sphere of life means that you either do not spend enough time or do not have enough energy in this area.
The formula for happiness is to devote enough time and energy to improving the weak spheres, without losing the strong ones.
Each sphere has well-defined aspects that you can influence. We will talk about them later in the following articles.
Outline your state (exercise)
Now take a sheet of paper and divide it into 3 parts.
The first column is called "now".
In it, we will write about how we feel right now, what state, what emotions, level of self-understanding, satisfaction - write down your thoughts on this. Our goal is to determine the current state of affairs.
The second column is our "want".
Here you need to write about how you would like to see yours now. These are the smallest possible changes that can improve your sense of satisfaction with life. The minimum necessary step that separates you from the situation in which you are now, to the situation in which you would like to be.
The third column is our "don't".
Honestly answer yourself, what developments are you afraid of. Think about what exactly you do not want to allow in your life? What are you willing to sacrifice? What are you not interested in? Tell yourself what things you have to say no to get your yes.
Complete these three columns for each of the 9 spheres of life, and then put your rate on a scale from 0 to 1. Look at the areas where the rate is lowest and where the highest. Why is the distribution exactly like that?
Now you know what you lack for your life balance. First, tackle those areas that have critically low rates. Then pull up the ones that require less effort. Then straighten the rest. Finally, review whole your life to achieve the desired level of happiness.
You deserve it!
Spoiler
This was the first article in the BetterMe series. The purpose of this series of publications is to help readers go from understanding what we really lack for complete happiness, to setting the definition of specific desires, setting goals, and their implementation.
In the next article, we will define more specific boundaries of our desires and learn to set priorities.
More opinions, additional materials, and advanced articles will firstly be published in this blog later.
Post Scriptum
Thank you for reading.
What do you think about the article? Has it helped you improve your understanding of happiness? What is your life satisfaction rate?