If we are stuck in the past, we lose sight of the path we are on which can impact the future we hope to obtain. We can become trapped in our own memories.
I think about this often as a constant reminder to be in the moment and to take life day by day because I acknowledge that at certain times in my life, I have been too focused on the past or the future.
Focusing too much on the sands of time, watching it fall and build, instead of experiencing the sensation of the sand as I walk the beach.
Memories, like sand, can be countless. Like sand, memories can be soothing to the weary traveler but can also get too hot if you are in them all day.
Memories can be uplifting, nostalgic, painful, shameful, motivating, funny, pertinent, traumatizing, encouraging, etc.
Memories come in many colors and shapes, captivating and capturing our minds throughout the day. Sometimes though, the vivid imagery can be too much.
The solid grains becoming intermingled and mixed. Happy memories intertwining with the sad ones, the sand starting to churn into a trap that pulls us down from the present into a deep vacuum of painful thoughts and feelings.
When we get stuck in the past, it's like quick sand. That is when the confusion, anxiety, and fear creep in and we grapple with the natural instinct to panic and thrash to escape.
The gravity of shame and guilt pulling us down and as we struggle to fight it, the quicker we succumb to this force. The terrible death of sinking and suffocating.
I've been there at times in my life, the quick sand. I've felt at times like I cannot breathe and I cannot see a way out. It is a hopeless feeling.
I also know how to escape it and I will explain how to escape it.
1. You Need to Breathe - To escape the quick sand, you first need to breathe and breathe with intention. Out of the many different variations of breathing, one easy and effective method is the 4–7–8 method.
Breathe in for 4 seconds through your nose, hold for 7 seconds, and slowly release for 8 seconds out of your mouth.
Do this 4 times at least in one session.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, the benefits of performing this breathing technique include: Calming your mind, reducing anxiety, helping you sleep and training your body to have better responses to stress. Breathing naturally will bring you back to the present and to what is the most important, the in and out of oxygen which is needed to survive.
The next time you start to feel trapped in the sands of time, give this breathing technique a try.
2. You Need to Focus on the Present - The more intentional you are with your breathing, the quicker you can bring yourself into the present and the task at hand, your escape from your negative memories of the past.
One technique you can use to focus on the present is to have a list of tasks for the day written down either in my phone or a piece of paper.
The list itself does not need to be complex and should be quite simple. By having achievable goals for the day that you can knock out, you can slowly work your way free from the past into the present.
From memory to tangibility, your actions can center you in what is real and the situation at-hand. The act of problem solving and overcoming challenges is what keeps us alive, in the present, and out of the quick sand.
3. You Need to Change Your Mindset - This last tip is all about your mindset. Will you be a prisoner of the quick sand or will you live? Will you a prisoner or will you be free?
It's as complicated as you want to make it but at the end of the day, you have two choices.
You can either create a better future by learning from the past and embracing the present or you can remain a prisoner of the past which will seal the future of regret.
You only have one life to live and do you want to spend it suffocating in the quick sand? The sand's embrace initially may feel welcomed and even comfortable, but at some point, you will realize that you are sinking down to your death.
You will need to realize this will be your fate if you dwell to long on the pain, shame, regret, and sadness. When this fate becomes apparent, focus on how the present can shape your future and start taking actions that can change your situation today.
The more intention you place in your day-to-day life, the bigger impact you will see on your future.
To Close
Speaking of sand, I will close this out with a quote from Frank Herbert, author of the legendary Dune book series. This quote always comes to mind when I am stuck in the past and afraid of how I can escape it.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing.”
Will you escape the quick sand and enjoy the gift of today?
Face your fears and savor your present of life!
