An unedited version of this is here: https://chuckinthailand.blogspot.com/2025/02/so-last-night-i-decided-to-go-out-here.html
So last night I decided to go out, here in Pattaya Thailand. Some people think I must go out every night just because I live here, but that just isn't true. My morals won't allow it. Oh wait, I mean my budget won't allow it.
But after stalking the Windmill clubs for the last three months, I decided I needed to get out and get a change of pace and... or rather I was forced to go out and get a change of pace. I'm always gonna be a pro-Windmill guy. Those clubs are just run so well and just everything about them is good. I know some people are bitching and complaining, and say it's too expensive but let's face it. You get what you pay for. The difference in the price of a lady drink between Windmill and Kink? 40-60 baht. Come on. Are you really that cheap?
But anyway, I was ready for a night out so, I walked down Soi Buakhao Road and stopped by Cheap Charlie's for breakfast at 8 pm (yeah I'm THAT guy) and sat there and mentally put together my night. After getting really, really sick about five weeks ago, I've completely changed my diet and I feel so much better. No more soda at all, cut down on sugar, tremendously cut down on bread to almost nothing, eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, eggs, grilled meat. When your doctor tells you that you've got a year to live if you continue on the pace you're going you don't really give it the seriousness that you should. But when your body tells you... it's time to buck up and do what you have to do.
I don't really have anything in my bucket list left to do but... there's a few things I'd like to repeat endlessly for the next however many years I have left on this planet (hopefully).
So I plan to go see my little sweetheart, codename: PMY, tonight, but I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna go have some pre-fun first. That's why I decided I'm gonna go down to KINK. If you've never been there, it's in Soi LK Metro. It's one of those Go-Go's that's 'hands on' and the girls are actually nude. People always talk about XS and Pin-Up and Fahrenheit and Chick (the new one) and yes, they have some beautiful ladies there... but... they have clothes on!
So I go to Kink and as I get through the curtains, I notice... the downstairs is open again! About 10 ladies on stage, but absolutely no customers are in the room! They have some real cuties down there too... I hope they manage to make their way up to the second floor. I appreciate Kink and it's 'hands-on' approach to entertainment, but... I just don't think that it has the quality of ladies that Windmill has. Just my opinion. Though, last night made me think maybe it's a little better than I thought as one girl that I sat with was really, very, very attractive and my new friend that I met last night he pointed out a girl that he had seen before that had just come back to work there and she was extremely attractive... and I saw a few others so maybe it's not as bad as I thought.
I mean, I didn't say it was BAD, I just said I didn't think it had the quality of girls that Windmill does. Let me rephrase that: if ye seek, ye may find. At least I did. I'm met Patty. Pronounce sort of like the way that I say, Pot-tee-ah (Pattaya). So it sounds like a cross between Potty and Patty. She's cute. Has an awesome tattoo on her back (Get over it fellow Boomers, the first Lollapalooza was like 25 years ago), nice boobies and... I decide to have a snack. That meal is clean and tasty.
All for the price of a Lady Drink. Though I tip her for her time, 100 baht, and we do have a nice little conversation. Her English is pretty good. I asked her how much bar fine is in the place and she says it's 1000 baht for the Club bar fine and 3000 baht for her. I'm just curious to hear the numbers actually. I have a date for tonight. But it's good to know for future reference because... she's pretty cool.
Patty leaves to go to stage, and just as I'm finishing my drink and preparing to go visit my lovely PMY, an Asian guy I recognize from Windmill comes over and we exchange pleasantries and talk for a moment but... I get the feeling he wants to talk some more and to be quite honest... I'm kind of feeling like I wanna be social and talk more too so I end up staying and buying another water - I order in Thai, 'Nom Blough' is how I pronounce it - 135 baht. (Patty's Lady Drink was 195 baht, just in case you're keeping score)
He's very curious about the go-go business and... me, I worked in the strip club business for 25 years in America so we start talking shop, which is something I can do 24 hours a day.
We ended up walking down through Soi Honey, which is a street he's not familiar with and one that I like to pervert people's minds with when I get the opportunity to... it's on the way to where my beloved PMY is working tonight, and we stop in there, but she's busy at the moment. So we walk back down and we go into Voodoo to have a drink and just keep talking. I like my new friend. He's pretty cool.
After a little bit, we head back down to where she's working and now she's free and I can't help it. I'm gonna take her upstairs. So we say good night and me and PMY share a Frosty beverage and talk current events and my God, such enthralling conversation! I do love this girl in the best way possible. She's like my own private ** ** for the moment. Our time together is always a 10/10 in every way. PMY, may Buddha help you be happy and find everything you want in life. (she always seems incredibly happy and I know what she wants most in life is money, which she definitely makes.)
I walk home and stop by 7-11 and buy a banana and one of those birds nest drinks with zinc in it, which seems to be my new thing. I drink it right down and then I stop by McDonald's on the Avenue. I order a hamburger with no ketchup or mustard on it (too much sugar in those condiments). I instead get a side order of mayo which I put on it. To drink I... I think this is still my water bottle from Voodoo.
A homeless lady wanders in looking a little bit like a character from a Sam Raimi movie, which kind of freaks me out and in a barely audible voice it sounds like she's pointing at my banana and saying 'banana'. Without hesitation I just grab my banana and hand it to her and say here you go. I don't do it because I'm worried that if I don't, she's gonna put some kind of curse on me or whatever but because... well fuck man she needs a banana a lot more than I do. When you're at the point where you go wandering in a McDonald's and beg for food and you hardly have enough of a voice to even be able to say it... why in God's name would I NOT give her something?
No virtue signaling here. I walk by plenty of people every single day that have their cups out that need money and most of them look like they really do need it, but I just don't have the money to constantly be doing that. I guess it was just one of those situations where I felt it was dire or something made me feel like it was necessary so I did it. I hope Buddha finds her too and helps her find some peace and happiness in this world.
I get home and I start to watch some of that Saturday Night Live movie that they made about the start of the series back in the day or whatever and I'm just so tired. I can't help it. I fall asleep but... that's a pretty good night. If that turned out to be my last night on earth that would be a pretty fucking good night. That's how you live.
