The Days He Loved Me More Than Heroin.

The Days He Loved Me More Than Heroin.

Nov 13, 2023

As I look around at the world, working longer and harder attempting to gain more things. Things. Things. Things. At what cost? Value the things that matter most, family. As we climb corporate ladders and the demands become greater and the hours longer to obtain, then maintain the six figure plus, salaries. What are we sacrificing?

When I was little my dad became addicted to heroin. My mother was an AWESOME single mother and both my grandfathers overcompensated for my dad not being there in the way he should have. The compensation often times came in the form of gifts, money and of course attention and love. Though my dad was a heroin addict and appeared to have chosen heroin over me, when I think back on, it wasn’t the things he would buy me to try and make up for his absence that I cherished most, it was just him being present.

When I was five my dad lost me at an amusement park, needless to say that was the last time my mom allowed me to go with him to an amusement park unsupervised. When I was about eight, he took me and my grandfather’s neighbor’s son to some kind of mini fun day. Well at the park there was a giant slide and my dad failed to tell me to lift my arms up as I was going down, and I was returned to my mother with the skin burned off my right arm and my grandfather having to explain why my dad had me in the first place. When I was ten, he showed up on Christmas high with his camera taking pictures and being the life of the party. When I was thirteen, he showed up to my 8th grade graduation high, but my point is he showed up and though he showed up when I was little and took me to Children’s Palace and bought me a Barbie Dream House or when I was twelve, he took me and bought me these expensive boots I wanted. Yes, it was great getting the things I asked for but the thing that mattered most again was simply that he showed up. Every time my dad chose me over heroin it was a great day.

My dad has been clean since I was sixteen and he has always tried to make up for his absence. In the beginning it was monetarily, but eventually he realized I just wanted him, not what he could do for me. If I need something, can I call my dad? Absolutely, but it’s even better to know I can call just to talk because I need him as my dad, not what he has to offer.

As a child I did not understand he was not choosing heroin over me but that he had an addiction. As an adult I am so thankful my father has remained drug free and that I know how much he loves me.

This was a bit personal, but some people are working overtime and long hours just to make ends meet and I pray for those in that situation that it will not always be that way. Others are doing it to acquire more and more stuff when their families just want them. Believe me when I tell you once the time is gone it cannot be returned to you. The things that children really want may surprise you. Half the stuff you buy they don’t even know where it is in two months’ time. So, make memories not only money and make sure you don’t miss out on the things that matter most in life.

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