We can feel stuck in an old version of ourselves while we’re stepping into a new version of who we’re becoming. We're familiar with our old selves, and old identities, and sometimes we fall back into the patterns or behaviors this version of ourselves operated from. The reason is because it's been our familiar (programming) and it’s all we’ve known. I guess this is why Joe Dispenza has written a book about Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself, because it’s the truth in finding who we really want to be.
We have to break the habit of staying in the familiar to create a new identity to then create a new reality. Our new identity is discovered in the unfamiliar, the unknown and denying that we have to go to those places to become who we were born to be, is scary and doing nothing about it is what keeps us stuck. Our brains are cool, yet complicated and try to keep us safe and in the familiar which keeps us looping in the cycle of stuckness and ultimately making us feel unfulfilled.
Our old selves were created in dynamics that supported this version of us. That all starts to change when we start to go on a journey of self-discovery or self-transformation. Our curiosity starts to kill the cat (or kill our old identity rather) and we start to see that a new familiar, a new reality, can be created. We start to imagine what a new life would look like, possibly even feel like. Things start to shift within you, which means they are undoubtedly going to shift outside of you.
This is when the people you’ve surrounded yourself with (friends, family, etc.), as well as environments (jobs, churches, etc.), start becoming unaligned with the person you’re becoming. You’re changing from the inside out. You realize they’ve been your anchor, a place of belonging, a place of safety, the familiar— all you’ve known.
Well, what happens when these dynamics and environments, are no longer supportive for this new version of you that you're birthing, becoming, and striving to be? It’s a sign that it’s time to find a new familiar and with that means stepping into the unknown. This is where the fun part starts because you get to explore, try things on and become even more curious while you find a new anchor to keep you moving in the direction of this new version of you.
It’s scary because it’s unfamiliar. You’ve never been this new version of yourself, so of course it would be! I’ve said this in another post, but the path of least resistance isn’t for those of us who seek truth and living from a place of peace and love. Which goes against everything we were taught and can cause a lot of friction within ourselves and make us question if we’re on the right path or if choosing to find a new anchor is what we even want. It’s not a paved path, but rather a bumpy one that throws unexpected circumstances our way. I believe they’re lessons from the universe. Each experience we face is an opportunity to look deeper within and find the lesson that our soul came here to learn. Again, this is just a perspective if you choose to look it that way is up to you.
So, you may be asking, what does finding a new anchor look like? It’s simple, really. It looks like the complete oppositeof what you’re used to. Sounds too simple, I know. Yet a lot of things in life are simple. It’s our cute little (BIG) brains that try to keep us safe by keeping us small, and again, in the familiar. Even though this can be frustrating as hell at times, doing the complete opposite is what creates new healthier habits, patterns, behaviors, experiences, etc. We must find people and environments that will help us establish our new anchor and supports the new version of us.
All in all, choosing to find a new familiar isn’t easy. Yet, I can tell you that it’s worth it. You start to feel different and your life begins to reflect back to you what you’re experiencing on the inside. That’s how powerful we are as human's. You can literally change your life on a cellular level. You just have to be willing to step into an unfamiliar place to experience who you were born to be and trust that your new anchor will be there to witness, guide and support you as you become this new version of you.
If you’ve been on this journey for a while, I’m proud of you. Keep seeking for truth, peace and freedom. If you’re just beginning, I see you and I’m proud of you too and I want to remind you that your soul brought you to this moment. Give yourself permission to be messy and make mistakes. After all, that’s where you learn about yourself the most. Keep showing up for yourself in the moments when it feels the hardest, because those moments too are where you will have a breakthrough that you didn’t know you needed.