I turn coffee into SLOs, YAML into order, and “it works on my machine” into “it works in prod.” I herd Kubernetes pods, charm flapping health checks, and occasionally pull the right cable on purpose—chaos engineering, not chaos chaos. Expect automated rollbacks, dashboards that tell the truth, runbooks you’d actually follow, and logs that make sense (most of the time). 99.95% availability, 200% caffeine. Buy me a coffee and I’ll convert it into uptime, one incident closed at a time.