“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Nothing brings more relief and healing than when we are finally seen for who we truly are.
Often this comes from a professional, who, perhaps for the first time in our lives, immediately sees the real us. Suddenly, it feels like the veil is lifted and the masks are no longer needed as someone sees beneath all this to the very core of our being. And most importantly, reflects back and affirms to us that all we believed was wrong with us and were flaws, were all along our greatest magnificent and unique gifts.
Such seeing and being affirmed in this way brings immense relief and a potent healing process is started.
And, even though it can then take years of further inner work to really believe this about ourselves and to start to create a life in alignment with our truth, often involving many set-backs and problems along the way; still, this vital beginning and turning point towards who we really are is monumental and it pays to remember this.
For me this came in the form of some life coaching I undertook with a woman in America who specialised in working with Highly Sensitive People. In the very first session she saw who I really was and what was most important to me. This along with helping me reframe my sensitivity from always feeling like it was a crippling burden, something to hide and constant source of attacks from others, especially when I was young, towards being the very foundation of my gifts and capacities and thus my life’s direction was profoundly healing and empowering. It is perhaps the biggest, most important turning point in my life to-date, as it not only helped me re-discover who I really was and what was of most value to me, but it also drastically changed the course of my life in terms of my career and focus.
It’s hard to put into words just how important this was; miraculous indeed. And it still stands out as the point of no return where it pivoted me towards a future that finally made sense of myself and my place in the world.
As professionals helping other people we have the potential to have such an impact on the people we work with. It’s helpful to remember this precious and sacred part of our role and task: that this potential to reveal the most beautiful truth for someone about themselves and change their life in such a way and it should never be underestimated or taken for granted.
Such an impact really only comes about though when we ourselves are acting from a place of deep integrity and authenticity. It can’t nor should it be forced, formulaic or just a string of words we parrot out as part of a method or learned strategy. It can really only come from the heart, from our heart to our client’s heart; truth seeing truth. And it also comes from a humble place, rather than a defensive egoic one. Which is where we can’t see our client’s truth but only see them as some reflection of ourselves, and so we’ll miss the opportunity to help them find their true voice and re-learn their own song. If our clients trigger us then there is more work to do with ourselves.
Whereas, this kind of honest, natural and deeply loving reflection that I’m talking about is really the only way that we can fully see the truth of another soul. A humble place with no agenda or need on our part, other than to help our client discover themselves at long last and to provide an utterly medicinal healing balm to their soul's wounds.
Here, we bring clarity and compassion, love and kindness, empathy and revelation as our words and insights shine a light on their hidden talents and places that they’ve felt they must always hide from others out of fear of criticism, derision or attack.
We can illuminate their real self and help coax it out into the light of day at last. And we can gently support them as they learn to inhabit and live from a place of truth finally, rather than always hiding their light away.
Truth and authenticity resonates person to person; being to being. Which is why healing with horses is so potent, as horses and other animals only ever bring their natural loving selves to the encounter. What a gift to give to another and what a joy to witness our horses offering this medicine so freely to so many too.
As Brené Brown says: “To see and to be seen. That is the truest nature of love”.
© Angela Dunning
Image by Small set of art, licensed via Shutterstock.