The bravest thing you will ever do is turn and face your own wounds.
Our most fragile and vulnerable inner core is so far from consciousness that we tend to project it onto others. They might be our clients, our partner, children, elderly parent or our animals; perhaps especially our animals and pets for those of us find close human relationships very difficult.
We find it easier to see the vulnerable and precious soul who inhabits our dog, cat or horse, but can fail to recognize that part in ourselves; let alone healthily care for and nurture this part.
Observing our projections is a always a really good way to identify our habits. As well as noticing what really touches us deeply inside, in a place where words and intellect don’t exist; a place so soft, tender and precious that we feel we would simply crumple in a heap if something touches us in that spot.
Donald Kalsched refers to this part as the “imperishable inner core”; DW Winnicott: “the secret true self”; Marion Woodman talks about our “soul-bird that we put away in a dark box in childhood in the attic”; Carl Jung secreted away in the attic a hand carved manikin and a stone in a pencil case which he felt held his real, true self.
Taking steps to withdraw this projection is perhaps, the most vital part of healing. Then comes the slow process of learning of how to tenderly care for this, our most valuable inner-self, just as we would a beloved other whom we hold so dearly.
Ultimately, to really embrace this essential step of healing we have to stop trying to rescue others and instead learn how to rescue and nourish ourselves.
It takes supreme courage to fully enter your wounds and decide that you will no longer turn away; cover up or escape via whatever routes you tend to use.
Nothing else you’ll ever do in life will come close to the amount of conviction, compassion, self-love and commitment you need to truly face yourself and your pain head on.
Our wounds are, after all, not only the source of our own treasure and the place where we re-discover out true self. They are also the lens through which we can authentically help others from a place of consciousness around our wounds, rather than blind projection. Then we stop trying to fix and rescue others and instead come from a genuine, heartfelt place of empathy and compassion as we sit, one wounded soul to another, and try to find our way forwards together.
Read more about being a Conscious Wounded Healer here.
©Angela Dunning
Image by Alexgo.photography, licensed via Shutterstock