A mature, wise person connects to their horse from their heart and soul centres, not their ego or persona.
It is the distraught, confused and immature inner-child in us who lashes out in fear, frustration and anger at her pony or horse, as this is the only way she knows how to relate to “other”, and thus how her ego has developed to this point when she wants her own way and to feel in control. And remember, the inner-child never grows up, they always remain a child, so inevitably their relational skills exhibit those of a young, immature ego and personality.
In her distress she tries to control and dominate her horse, all to no end. Expending vast amounts of fruitless energy and only further distressing both herself and her four-legged companion, as this approach is utterly counter-productive and stress-generating, [i.e. it puts both her and her horse into a state of sympathetic arousal of either flight or fight mode]. It is pointless and harsh and leaves no space for genuine connection to arise as it leaves out love and respect for the other.
But, we don’t need to do it this way; regardless that this is the encouraged and often sanctioned way in many areas of equestrianism still.
There is another, much, MUCH better way.
A much more effective, simple and beautiful way.
One which the pony or horse will readily and immediately respond to; which enables them to instantly trust us and be happy to join us in our time and activities together.
And we achieve this through connecting to our equine friends from our heart and soul.
To achieve this, all we need to do is place our centre of awareness and being fully into these two beautiful parts of ourselves and convey our love to our horse through our breath. That’s it.
As when we come from our heart and soul we are naturally filled with and exude love, kindness, compassion and respect for both ourselves and all other beings.
And when this is the foundation from where we start from then all else will quite naturally fall into place and both species will thrive and be relaxed and happy.
So, whether we are going about our daily routine with them; riding; or engaging on the ground with them in any other way; in fact any time we interact with our horses this is by far the most effective and enjoyable approach to use for both parties.
That is all we need to do. And it will work, believe me.
A quote from Ian McCallum to finish up: "Mutual trust, sometimes immediate, has much to do with the demeanour, the attitude and the intention of the animal handler."
And, if you're committed to your personal development then I invite you to try taking this approach one step further, and approach yourself and especially your own animal-body in this way. As well as all others you engage with, both human and animal. Try it next time and see!
©Angela Dunning
Image by Alla-Berlezova, licensed via Shutterstock.
Reference:
Ian McCullum, ‘Ecological Intelligence: Rediscovering Ourselves in Nature’, p.194