Part One - Luke
Mozzy’s is my lucky bar. It’s rare that I come here of an evening and don’t end up leaving with another man for a night of refined debauchery. A contradiction I know but what can I say, I’m complex like that. A sophisticated man-slut one might say. My therapist’s theory is that I’m overcompensating for my disapproving father. I’m so determined to not be ashamed of my sexuality that I choose to revel in it. She’s probably right but I also just like to fuck and I’m one hundred percent blaming Freya for my recent dry spell. How am I supposed to pick up guys if my wing woman is off being a hot shot consulting with the FBI?
A firefighter takes the stool next to me and I flash him a smile, mussing up what Freya calls my ‘surfer boy blond hair’.
He dips his chin at me, the corner of his lip tipping up.
Bingo.
“Luke,” I say, leaning forward and holding out a casual hand. “But you can call me Lucas.”
“Marc. You got plans tonight, Lucas?” He wraps his large hand around mine and I grin.
“I do now.”
Marc chuckles softly and calls over the bartender.
I find myself hoping Lacey will take the order but she’s busy at the other end of the bar so it’s Josh who makes his way over to us, his shirt sleeves pushed up and a bar towel slung over his shoulder.
“A beer and another of whatever my new friend here is drinking,” Marc says.
Josh looks over at me, a strained smile on his soft lips.
My fingers tighten around my glass tumbler, the golden whisky suddenly burning inside my chest.
“Coming right up,” Josh says before turning away.
I grit my teeth and watch him walk off, my gaze dropping to his skinny jeans and the toned, round, extremely bitable ass, they hide. My nostrils flare as I breathe. I tear my eyes off of Josh and back to my current conquest but apparently my distraction hasn’t gone unnoticed.
Marc lifts a dark brow at me and shakes his head, amusement glittering in his eyes. “Enjoy the drink, Luke.” He slips off the stool and strolls to the other end of the bar, taking his beer from Josh before heading to the pool table.
Fucknuts. Maybe I can’t blame Freya entirely.
I spend the rest of the evening in a sulk, nursing my drink and trying and very much failing not to keep my eyes off Josh.
The trouble is, he’s really easy to watch. His long-sleeved shirt is tight around his biceps and the muscles bulge each time he pops the cap off a bottle using just one hand. The easy smile he gifts each customer is so honest and real I wish I could keep a photo of it in my wallet. But it’s that pureness which keeps me away. Josh is good people and he deserves more than the one night stand I have to offer.
I down the rest of my drink and push away from the bar. Apparently, a night of debauchery is out of my grasp for this evening and if I spend another second staring at Josh I’ll no doubt do something regrettable.
I’m getting my wallet out to leave a tip when a bulky man in boots and a suede, fleece lined jacket ducks into Mozzy’s and approaches the end of the bar. He’s got a thick beard and chocolate eyes that I decide could do with bruising when they settle on Josh.
Tip forgotten, I watch as Josh catches sight of the newcomer and his face lights up. “Let me just grab my stuff and I’ll be ready to go.”
My stomach decides it’s a pretzel and squirms inside of me. Never, in the almost twelve months I’ve known Josh, have I ever seen him go on a date, and I find dislike the situation, vehemently.
So much so that when he disappears to get his belongings, I walk behind the bar like I own the place and follow him to the back room.
I lean against the doorway, stretching my legs out so I’m blocking the exit and wait for Josh to notice me.
He pulls his bag down from his locker and slips his phone into his back pocket. He turns around, his lithe body jolting when he sees me. “Jesus, Luke, what are you doing back here?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Who’s your date?”
Josh’s powder blue eyes tighten. “None of your business.”
“Got an attitude tonight, have we?”
Josh’s brow creases. “Okay, what is happening right now?” He adjusts his bag on his shoulder, his grip fiddling with the strap.
I push my tongue into my cheek, drawing on my quickly evaporating patience.
“Are you trying to make me jealous?”
Josh’s mouth drops open. “Are you really this much of a dick?”
My shoulders tighten, another uncomfortable feeling swirling inside of me. I don’t like it. I’m the personification of light and breezy. I don’t do heavy emotions. That’s why I also don’t do relationships. But I don’t like the idea of Josh being upset with me. Unfortunately, I also don’t like the idea of the mountain man out front putting his hands on him.
At my silence, Josh sighs. “I’ve made how I feel about you perfectly clear but I’m not going to sit by while you fuck every guy you can get your hands on. So no, this isn’t me trying to make you jealous. This is me moving on.” He nods at my legs still blocking the door. “And you have no right to get in my way.”
With some reluctance, I stand up so he can get past. I’m not ready to just let him go yet though so I work my jaw and try to be a grownup and express my newfound feelings. “I don’t want you leaving with him.”
Josh stops right in front of me and his clear gaze pierces into mine. “Then maybe you need to figure out why you’re so scared to act on feelings you clearly have for me. But don’t expect me to wait around.” He brushes past the small gap I’ve left. His shoulder barely touches my chest but the impact feels like I’ve been hit with a sledgehammer.
I don’t go back out into the bar, not sure I can bare seeing Josh arm in arm with another man. Instead, I give them a few minutes then go out the back.
I try to wait till morning but it’s no use and I end up calling my therapist at an ungodly hour.
Rose’s face appears on my laptop screen.
I stretch out on the couch in my open plan living/kitchen area and pull on my big boy pants.
“I’m ready for you to tell me why I avoid relationships,” I say.
She blows on her mug of tea. “Oh good, I’ve been looking forward to this.”
I scowl. “Actually, I don’t think you should get the privilege. I don’t want to do relationships because my father is a raging homophobe and while I’m happy to flaunt my promiscuity in his face as a giant, gay ‘fuck you’ actually committing myself to another man makes me feel vulnerable.”
“I do love it when my patients do my work for me.” Rose smirks. “In all seriousness though, that was very insightful and shows a great level of self-awareness. Vulnerable is an interesting word, why do you think the idea of being in a relationship makes you feel that way?”
I grind my teeth and glare at a spot just over my laptop. “I don’t want him thinking that the man I’m in love with is nothing more than a dirty, unnatural mistake.”
“Would you think that about the man you love?”
“No.”
“Would Freya? Ruiz?”
I sigh. “No.”
“We pick our people, Luke. I understand why you care about your father’s opinion but by holding yourself back, by not letting yourself have what you really want, you’re giving him and his views more power.”
“How do I stop giving him that power?”
Rose smiles softly. “I think you can do my job for me and answer that one too.”
Part Two - Josh
My date was a disaster and I’m still mad about it twelve hours later when I park up outside Mozzy’s. Instead of having a lazy morning in, I got up at six and went trail running. Usually it helps clear my mind but I can’t stop thinking about my run in with Luke last night.
The date should have been wonderful. Theo was kind and attentive and just the right side of dominant I like. But just like now, all I could think about was damn Lucas Harrison. My heart wasn’t in it and, in the end, I got Theo to drop me home early. I spent the evening drinking hot cocoa, watching reruns of CSI: Miami and cursing the universe for making me fall head over heels for a man who won’t give me a single date let alone a lifetime.
I tug the keys from the ignition and hop out of Benny, my jeep, so called because my little sister is only ten and insisted on naming rights. It’s a little early to open up the bar but I refuse to mope around. I need to keep busy, so I’ll do some chores and restock the bar for Mozzy so he and his husband can sleep in this weekend.
I pull my hood of my running sweater up to ward off the light drizzle as I cross the parking lot. My key jams in the lock and it takes me a second to realize the door’s already unlocked. The short hairs on my arms prick up.
I peer through the glass rectangles, but I can’t see anyone inside. There shouldn’t be anybody else here at this time which means I should probably be calling the police. Or Luke.
He'd want me to call him and I’m inviting one hell of a lecture if I don’t and something goes wrong. But honestly, Luke is the last person I want to talk to right now and it feels overdramatic to call the police. Nothing’s broken and I can’t hear anything from inside.
I chew on my lip for a moment before slipping my keys between my knuckles and pushing open the door.
My feet grind to a halt.
And the award for the strangest break in, in the world goes to… whoever the hell did this.
There’s not a stool out of place. Nothing broken, nothing missing. But every inch of the bar and the wall of drinks behind it is covered in photographs. One photograph to be exact. The same one repeated over and over. It’s the one Freya uses to torture Luke. In it, he’s standing in heart stamped boxers, a little ball of ginger fluff in his arms.
A laugh shocks out of me. I bend over at the waist, the laughter still coming till tears catch in my eyes.
It’s not the first time I’ve seen the photo. Freya never misses the opportunity to bring up the story of how Luke rescued the tiny kitten from a tree only to catch his pants on a branch on his way down. But this is a whole new level.
I straighten up, collapsing back against the door. I’m wiping the tears away when Luke strolls out from behind the bar.
“Figured I owed you a few laughs after being such a douche last night.”
A hook catches in my heart. I feel the imaginary line reaching across to where Luke stands, watching me with soft eyes. This man holds so much power over me and I want him to reel me in, to tug me close and claim me as his own.
But I steel myself, holding my ground and letting the hook tear into the flesh of my heart. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
Luke holds up a paper bag from my favorite bakery and places it on the bar before taking a stool. “Brought you breakfast. Blueberry muffins.”
His words pull on the line and my feet move me across the floor till I’m sitting on the stool next to him, our knees almost touching.
I wave a hand at the bar’s new artwork. “What’s with the male nudity?”
“Thought I should show you what you’d be missing if you carry on dating other guys.”
I sigh, not having the energy for any more of his possessive shit. “Luke, I’m not going to stop dating.”
“I’m not asking you to stop dating. I’m asking you to stop dating other people.”
My mouth goes dry. I run my tongue around it and drum my fingers on the bar. “Yeah, I’m going to need you to say the words.” I didn’t think Luke would ever change his mind and if I’m going to let myself believe, even for a moment, I need to be sure.
Luke takes my hand off the bar and holds it in both of his. He looks me straight in the eyes and says, “Josh Taylor, I want to take you on a date. And then another one and then another one and then as many as you’ll let me.”
“Okay.”
His brow tweaks, a half-smile gracing his face. “Okay? That’s all I get?”
“After making me wait for almost a year? Yes. That’s all you get.”
Luke chuckles. The sound makes my stomach clench, but I worry my bottom lip. “Are you sure about this?” Part of me doesn’t want to question it. I’ve dreamed about this for months and I must be an idiot to not grab it with both hands but not having Luke is hard enough. I’m not sure I’d survive having him only to lose him.
Luke slips off his stool and wedges himself between my open legs. His hand comes up to curl around my nape and I shudder at the touch.
“I can’t promise I won’t screw up. I’ve not really done relationships before, but I’ve also never wanted to before. No one makes me feel like you do. I miss you when I’m not here. I save up things from my days to tell you and lately, I can’t sleep without dreaming of fucking you. Of sinking deep inside you and marking you as mine.” He leans down, bringing his lips within a whisper of mine. “Be mine, Josh. Say you’ll be mine.”
My hands find his hips, gripping onto his jeans to stop me from melting into a puddle at his feet. “I’m yours, Lucas,” I whisper, and he crashes into me.
Being kissed by Luke is everything I ever imagined and more. I feel myself harden against my zipper, the heat of his lips alone enough to send me feral. I tug him closer to me and sink into the kiss, opening up and letting him play with my tongue.
I moan when he pulls away, but Luke just smiles smugly, resting his forehead against mine. “Patience, Joshie, I’ve got to take you on that date first.”