A few facts about me–
1) I adore photography, editing, paint-making and illustration but haven't always had the resources or energy to pursue it in the way I had wished– I am currently adamant on pursuing all of these through practise and I am so excited for where it's going!
2) I have a minor jaw deformity and it has caused me many health issues my entire life. It bothered me horribly for most of my life not understanding why nothing others did to "look pretty" worked for me. Wish I could give little me a big hug and show her everything else about this life that matters so much more to me now, a lot sooner! I think each person is inherently beautiful in a million ways that have nothing to do with beauty standards anyway, and I’ve grown to love the look of my strange jaw and what I have learnt from it.
3) I love life with a passion I cannot find words for – I love animals, creatures, anything that grows, and even that which “doesn’t”. (I can admit I admire even the one thing I have a severe illogical phobia of, but you won’t catch me near it!)
4) I cannot hurt a fly. (But my dog can. And does – it’s his favourite past-time!) I do not like the feeling of life leaving something. I feel overwhelming nausea when I accidentally step on something and want to give them a fraction of my life essence to bring them back.
5) I have 2 living doggies– both are Dachshund mixbreeds: Ser West (Mr. Wiggles) is a mini seen left in the photo; and Leo (Leeui) is a larger standard seen on the right (and has the most expressive eyes and personality! I taught him keywords and concepts associated with his environment when he was a puppy, like you would a child, so maybe that did it. He is super intelligent and responsive, and it still catches me by surprise sometimes even after 6 years).
6) I understand a lot about human psychology and physiology but will never choose to pursue a career in it– I understand why people act horribly (I don’t condone or tolerate it though) but it helps to not internalise malevolent opinions, behaviour, biases or (especially) false accusations and assumptions. I’ve always had a different view of those around me and so have always been on the “outskirts” of society. I think it a super power of mine – to have life’s dirt roll off my tail feathers like water off a duck.
7) I get along with very few people– I tend to have philosophically/politically grey morals by most's standards and require a lot of mentally stimulating concepts thrown my way– I love doing research of all kinds and love entertaining both sides of a subject to try and find the universal truth. I have very little yap-tolerance though and prefer activities utilising primal movement (exploring remote areas pretending I’m from the time of hunter-gatherer) over sitting in one place hurting my voice to "socialise" for no practical reason haha, I don’t like talking. But I do love practical conversation here-and-there, and can chat away for hours with light conversation and jests once this understanding is established or when I'm busy doing something else outside (as long as I get to be quiet when I want to without being interrogated lol).
8) I don’t like traditional hiking– It’s too rigid and time–destination orientated and require too much unnatural baggage, planning, and uncomfortable nylon clothing. I like “playing” in the wild– spontaneous movement and road–trips into mountainous pine-plantations instead.
9) If I’m going to be berated for being barefoot, I probably won’t be there long (unless it’s rough terrain, in which case, fair enough).
10) I love the movements of clouds in relation to mountains.
11) I love the night sky– the stars have always brought up so many questions for me, and is why I got into philosophy. Shout out to Aristotle, Galileo, Newton and Carl Sagan (and yes I do think it’s unfortunate that only influential stereotypes got recognition back then but these are the names I grew up with and read about!) One of my most beloved possessions is the big Cosmos book from the 80s (that I may or may not have borrowed from my dad’s bookshelf and kept nearby ever since). I also love the film Hidden Figures and find it so inspiring.
12) I wanted to be an Astrophysicist and spent most of 2020 doing mathematics and astrophysics equations as a hobby and dreamt of numbers and algebraic equations every night– it was the best time I had ever had. I awoke in a fever dream one night convinced I figured out the missing variable to the equation of existence (I call it the complex algorithm) and wrote it down on tissue as I couldn’t find paper fast enough. Forgot about it that morning and thought what the hell is all this mess and cleaned up all the scribbled junk papers, wrappers and tissue lying around, only to remember this crazy fever dream 2+ weeks later – frantically rummaged through the trash to no avail. Thought about it for many months trying to replicate the conditions of the dream but ended up “not dreaming" at all** for over 3 years. But it made its mark and altered my entire view on *everything* onward, and to this day all my beliefs of life, reality and hereafter centre around The Complex Algorithm in one way or another. So sorry guys, I figured out reality (probably not lol) and threw it away.
**I’ve always remembered my vivid dreams and somewhat lucid dreams but after this I couldn’t remember having any dreams whatsoever during this time and started hating sleep (I just couldn’t sleep right after this). Only started dreaming again a few months ago (around Dec 2024). Consciousness is an enduring mystery, is it not?
13) I’m rarely sentimental, but when I am there is good lore attached.
14) I have a very specific illustration and painting style in mind (that I can’t master yet but hope to one day achieve) that I feel will perfectly express my vision and heart of it all.
15) I see bits of myself in whatever inspires me and lights my soul up. I do not just admire art, I admire the lifestyle and character of the artists behind it. Who I look to for inspiration: Tove Jansson, Hayao Miyazaki, Jonna Jinton, Anna Bjørdal.
16) I am obsessed with George R.R. Martin’s world-building of his Game of Thrones books (David Lightbringer’s streams on YouTube is often on in the background).
17) I taught my super intelligent reactive rescue foxi–dax dog keywords and concepts associated with his environment like you would a child– He now governs my entire life through constant feedback and complaints and thinks he deserves to rule the world (he does. but he would also be a tyrant, so rather not. EDIT: I retract my jest- he would have made a finer leader than any and let's be honest, I would cut off heads for him if I had to because I know his little lion heart is as good as it gets!) (I also had to learn his language when he refused to continue learning mine🙃 which is fair).
18) I do not partake in any reality altering substances. (I no longer like caffeine either) I like my brain functions to process things clearly, factually and realistically (I already have immense imagination enough! I can literally get high off of my favourite places, moments and future dreams alone, I do consider myself fortunate that I’m able to do this).
19) I had a very isolated upbringing and wasn’t socialised enough as a puppy– I cannot to this day grasp the secrets of casually socialising and just hanging out without stressing, knowing I should be doing something but not knowing what that is. I usually get told what it is shortly after followed by jests I do not care for lol :')
20) I’m not a very anxious person but easily get labelled as such because of the aforementioned fact– I still claim being nervous and awkward is not the same as having clinical anxiety or social anxiety. I’m socially awkward yes, and easily get nervous in environments I’m not used to or have had repeated bad experiences with, which is normal in any animal with a functioning nervous system! Certain stress is healthy, unnatural chronic stressors incl. bullying/ mean remarks are not and unfortunately I often experience them (you’d think adults would do better!)– I still hold fast in the fact that repeated anxious feelings are supposed to be an indicator for you to realise what environments were meant for you (purpose and life you’d thrive in), staying in ill-fitting environments is what causes a forced adaption (that develops into what we call anxiety disorder). and that’s what’s wrong with the world, too many are kept stuck where they can barely manage tolerating survival.
21) I’m happiest between whispering pines where I can see distant mountains and rolling hills with even more pine forests as far as the eyes can see. A carpet of pine needles is just one of those things you cannot describe the feeling of unless it's been experienced.
22) I don't share a lot of my personal beliefs unless it's with someone that shares similar views because of the insistent doom-and-gloom responses I constantly get from extremists and traditional religious folk that can't let different people be without trying to psychologically hurt them. But I really should, I feel like I'm accidentally hiding from a lot of people that I would naturally get along with. Human-nature literally has an aggressive side that is meant to be used for this reason – to let people know you have boundaries for a reason and that you will defend yourself against unprovoked malevolence.
23) If I had a spirit-animal, it would either be a fox or a deerfox.
24) I want to (more than anything!) go to Sweden (And Norway!). My ideal life would look like living in a traditional Swedish cabin surrounded by untouched woods, but I can also see myself at least going on frequent trips and adventures to Norwegian cities! I just want to be in the North– I Iove the weather, the culture, the people, the language, the landscapes! and everything else about life there. I've never felt at home in the culture and country I was born into and have always struggled to connect with the beliefs and ways people go about life here. This is what inspires my day-to-day and what drives me and what I dream of every night– the idea that I will end up there, the place I know in my heart is home.
25) I love Scottish-themed films and documentaries. Especially re. the Highlands and its ancient history, geology, weather and politics from the time of the Picts to the 18th century. I also love German mystery series– rich in depth, intrigue and masterful connect-the-dots writing.
26) I am an ungodly-hours-of-the-night owl– I function best between the hours of 10pm-3am!
27) I love driving!
28) I enjoy PC games from time to time– Witcher and Skyrim remain favourites for the world-building and lore.
29) I am obsessed with how colours work together.
~29 Facts as we approach the 29th-year marker of my life. June is around the corner and I'm ready for another year's wisdom! I've always been more of a writer than a talker but hopefully soon I can share things like this in a cinematic video that would be easier to digest for those who can't focus on reading so much!
