Right now the focus is the job. Keep the job. Everything else is secondary.
I won't pretend the dark isn't dark. It takes everything I have some mornings to get up, shower, and get out the door. Some mornings I have to argue myself into the day at all.
But I'm still here. So I'm trying to give myself reasons to stay - a reason to keep going, a reason to wake up every day.
I collect them where I can. The writing. The spirituality. The small pleasures people wave off - window shopping for things I can't afford, the cheapest hamburger on the menu, a walk for no reason but to be walking. People ask what the point of those things is when the roof isn't settled. The point is that if all I think about is the roof and the food, I run out of reasons to go to work at all. Survival alone doesn't get me out of bed. The beautiful, pointless, necessary things do.
I'm not saying this for sympathy. I'm saying it because it's true.
Still here. Boots on.
If the words have meant something to you, a coffee keeps the writing going. If not, reading and sharing is support too.
Traie
The Kosmic Quill remembers what we write.
If this one stayed with you, you might also like:
All Flourishing Is Mutual - buymeacoffee.com/adontaimason/all-flourishing-is-mutual
One Day at a Time: Working Full Time and Still Homeless - buymeacoffee.com/adontaimason/one-day-time-a-long-update
A Roof by the Week - buymeacoffee.com/adontaimason/a-roof-week
It's In My Hands Now - buymeacoffee.com/adontaimason/it-in-my-hands-now
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A note for anyone reading who knows this weight: you are not alone. In the US, you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time - free, confidential, 24/7 - or chat at 988lifeline.org.
