A note I wrote to my then crush, to whom I am about to marry in two months' time.
The moment I see her, I feel the same vibes that encircled me years back when she sparkled around with a gesture of uncertainty.
A self-generating device may be or persona that is good enough to strangle me into the chains of attraction which are due to deeply hidden lust that erupted more often than I wished. While rotating and roaming around the sun, I noticed that the aura didn’t seem to fade, but with every rise of it, her presence made sense.
I thought I was polished, carved, and painted to follow her through the thick and pull her out from the thins. This made her top the charts of my daydreaming lists. But what made me uncomfortable was her topping the list for weeks and weeks. Somewhere I thought, she is strangling me hard and after every stare, I am simply tangling.
I wondered the way she has gripped me from the time she arrived in the vicinity. Fortnights followed fortnights but I had the same girl topping the list, that made me wonder is it lust or love?
I’ve heard lust was never concise. It usually grows, wherever it can, but this time it was compact and concentrated to the girl that topped the list.
Then I questioned myself “Is this what lust is all about?”
Maybe I have some kind of self-motivated benefits, I believed.
It made me more vulnerable, cause the pain of hurting an individual made me think and revolve around the possible angles. I believe, as you respect the person behind the reason of lust, the cause and the power of lust would eventually break down and we could see some dimensions of love.
Respect in terms of appreciating her presence, her needs, her thoughts, her attributes, and her actions. Times came when I didn’t respond because I wanted to stand inside the walls of patience. I believe it builds trust gradually.
Trust is the Armour that protects us from all the possibilities of hindrances. Actions are sensible when they have the attributes of respect and trust.
I am sure as we en-corporate these values the bonds that once strangled would turn into chains beyond lust.
The chains that would help us prosper and believe. The values would never fall down and would also overcome the darkness of lust as you enlighten our world with the invincible spark.
Note: This was first published in 2012 & re-edited in 2017