One of the oldest expressions I ever heard growing up was, "Mind your own business." Unfortunately, so many people haven't thought about what that expression really means.
It doesn't mean you should be cold or indifferent toward others. This famous saying is a reminder that your first (and most important) priority is to manage your own life and not be overly concerned with everyone else's.
Too many men spend their days discussing other people's relationships, criticizing another man's decisions, commenting on what celebrities are doing, or debating how someone else should live their life. They know every detail about the drama happening across town, on social media, or in the neighborhood, but can't tell you their 3-year plan, what their life purpose is, or how to resolve conflicts in their homes.
That's backwards.
A wise man understands that his time, energy, and attention are limited resources. Every minute spent obsessing over another person's life is a minute not invested in building his own.
Your Business Is Bigger Than You Think
By the way, when I say "your business," I'm not just talking about a company.
Your business includes:
Your marriage or long-term relationship
Your physical health and mental health.
Your finances.
The well-being of your children.
Your education.
Your career.
Your purpose.
Your spiritual growth.
Your reputation.
That's enough work to keep you busy for a lifetime!
If you're committed to being a better you, there simply isn't much time left to spend hours each day gossiping about other people, or criticizing the behavior of someone you don't even know.
Here's the problem. Talking about another person's problems doesn't solve yours.
Criticizing another man's mistakes doesn't make you wiser.
Watching someone else's downfall doesn't elevate your life.
If anything, it distracts you from an important project that really matters: your self-development!
Stop Being Everybody's Adviser
Another bad habit many men develop is giving everyone advice they didn't ask for. I think self-appointed advisors associate giving advice with being intelligent, valued, or important.
But if you're constantly in the habit of telling people what they should do, others will eventually view you as being annoying and even arrogant. Unless someone sincerely asks for your guidance or you're responsible for mentoring them, you might want to keep your suggestions to yourself -especially when you are giving advice on something you know little or nothing about. (See my video on being a Wise Fool).
You also want to avoid the trap of hypocrisy. Think about this scenario: You're running around telling everybody how to improve their marriage, raise their children, get healthier, and how to control their temper.
Meanwhile...
Your marriage is falling apart.
Your children are struggling academically and making poor decisions.
Your health is declining.
Your temper is consistently way out of control.
What would the people you advise think of you? Advice carries far more weight when your life reflects the principles you're teaching.
Build Instead of Broadcast
Strong men are builders. They build businesses. They build families. They build skills. They build communities. But building takes time. Why? Because planning, gathering resources, learning what you need to know, organizing and training a team, raising money, all of that requires time. Weak or misguided men wear the clothing of builders. They might even talk like builders. But they are just performing or playing a role.
Those of us who are actual builders spent the majority of our time doing the work necessary to build. This happens in several ways. Some create institutions, organizations, or businesses. Others educate people, do charity work, or create movements to challenge injustice. But regardless of how we build, we all agree on one thing: We cannot accomplish anything of value if we invest too much time minding other people's business.
The Wise OG Perspective
An important sign of maturity is learning where and how to direct your energy. Wise OGs realize that "control" (of other people) is an illusion. You cannot control another grown man or woman. nor can you live someone else's life.
You cannot help people who are not committed to change.
But you do have control over yourself, and you can improve yourself every single day.
"Minding your business" when properly understood is not about being selfish or salty; it's responsible.
When you work consistently to become healthier, stronger, wiser, and more disciplined, everyone close to you notices. You don't need to broadcast. More importantly, everyone close to you shares in your success. Your family benefits. Your community benefits. The young men (and women) watching you benefit from your example. If you are watching my videos, reading my book, and consistently applying those principles, you are becoming a builder that will benefit and inspire others. Trust me.
When others benefit from your example, and begin modeling themselves after you, that's real influence and real impact. No million dollar bank account or fancy job title needed. So the next time you're tempted to spend twenty minutes discussing someone else's life, or to flood others with your advice and suggestions, stop and ask yourself one question:
"What could I be doing right now to improve my own situation and demonstrate the things I talk about??"
That's the real meaning of "mind your business."
And that's advice every wise man should live by.