There is something beautiful about chaos. Not evil, not maliciousness, just chaos. I have often maintained that on a D&D alignment charge I would fall into neutral good. In my mind neutral you might do good things, have some structure and order to life, but sometimes you want to sit back and enjoy letting the chaos flow around you, letting it carry you along the currents of the universe and just stop struggling for a little while.
Now eventually as a neutral person I will want to ground myself and organize bits and pieces of that chaos to suit my needs, but leaving a bit of chaos, a bit of randomness and uncontrollable bits of yourself is not a bad thing. It is into that uncontrollable part of me that I can pour my wildest emotions, thoughts, my very basic instincts, and urges and let myself be free.
A lot of people when they get mad, upset, sad, angry, any sort of negative emotion, will bottle it up inside. They push it down, ignore it, and don't let it come out. This works for awhile but even very deep bottles will fill up and burst or overflow with too much.
Instead of bottling up your emotions find a time and place for you, a place where you can let yourself just unleash all of that chaos you try and hold together and let it out. Scream, yell, punch things, cry, say out loud all the things you keep quiet about. let it out then take the time to just reveal in doing what you want. Don't plan it, this isn't a spa day, or a family outing to an amusement park where you try and find the optimal path to hit the rides. Let go, just let the moment take you to the next one and do whatever (that is non-harmful to you or other people) strikes your fancy.
So today, find sometime to let chaos take over, don't think about your worried or your cares and just let the universe push you along the currents of time.
Stay hydrated, keep dreaming.