I feel a need to get something off my chest today. Specifically about the previous wellness check. Not many people saw the first version posted but it was not the quality or positivity that you deserve. It was somewhat aggressive, as my friend Mina put it "like a parent scolding".
So I editted it because she was right, it was not the type of post I set out to make with these. I didn't see a copy of that first draft but it's not important what I posted, but why it happened.
To be honest the path of kindness, serenity and positive thinking can be hard. Some people are naturally more rays of sunshine than others. I am not one of those people, I am natrually a more sarcastic person. Trying to be a force of kindness doesn't come easily to me.
Also most of you know I've been on a two week trip with my family. I haven't been posting as much of my wellness checks, I haven't been reinforcing my kindess. There's a lot of personal stuff that leaked through. I don't have an easy family and that includes the 8 year old who is going on 14. The constant testing of boundaries with passive aggressive suggestions and questioning my ability to be a parent by my family has me in full grumpy dad mode. So when I see people on Twitter acting like children I overreacted.
But the truth is despite what some people on Twitter think, I am not the Writing Community's dad. I'm not your parent, I am certainly not a figure of any sort of expertise or authority.
What I do want is to be your friend. Someone who cares for you yes, who reminds you to take care of yourself, but you have to make that choice. I'm just a person trying to make the world a better place, but everyone has to do choose to. Yesterday I forgot it has to be a choice everyone has to make over and over and I wanted to guilt and dress people down into doing things my way. That is not the way to make positive change in the world.
But the most important thing to realize is that even though I stumbled and got off the path, I can get back on it. It doesn't have to be an embarrassment, but an opportunity to learn from. The experience so I can be better next time. I know I can keep doing this especially with the group of supportive amazing people I've found in the writing community who will tell me when I get off and help me back.
Kindness must be practiced, it's not something you say "I am kind" and no longer have to think about it. Each day we have to work on being kind. Not just donating to charity or holding a door but making a decision on how we react and interact with others. To not choose sarcasm and anger. To listen when our friends offer us feedback even if we don't want to hear it.
So, think back on a time this past week when you responded to a situation in a negative way and think about how you could have handled it better and try and use those strategies for kindness and understanding the next time someone confronts you.