Tonight’s piece is all about how deeply we humans need each other to survive. And honestly? Leaning into that theme, I need you guys tonight.
I love putting these writings out into the world for free, but keeping this creative engine running takes real-world fuel. If this piece speaks to you, hits a nerve, or makes you feel a little less alone, please consider clicking below to buy me a coffee (or a few!). Let's prove the essay right: we really do need each other.
☕👇🙏
**
We all know the song.
People.
People who need people.
Are the luckiest people in the world.
But that was sung at a different time.
Back when people, well, people'd.
Today?
There is this hardness.
An attitude of "I don't need anyone".
I'm not that kind of person, even though I feel I have more or less been pushed into that space out of societal norms, expectations, and end results.
Many have told me "you're too needy" over the years.
Today alone, I needed many things and ended up doing them on my own.
Like that 4" spider that suddenly morphed on my kitchen wall, conveniently projecting himself into my experience just as I sat down to eat my meatloaf. It needed to be dead using someone else's hands.
Or the realization that I could not recall the last time I vacuumed the living room rug (I tossed the old ratty one and splurged on a much lighter shade, making dirt easier to go unnoticed). It needed to be de-dusted with someone else's arm power.
Witnessing my plants out front wilting. They needed to be de-wilted by someone else who had more time.
And the job application that needed 3 paragraphs explaining why I was the perfect fit. I needed to be perfectly fitted in words that I could not come up with on my own.
On and on.
I sometimes need people.
And I like needing people.
I just do NOT like it when my need for them is not shared.
Or when it's criticized.
It's sad.
What has happened to us?
We're so divided.
We've become so easily offended and triggered over every little thing.
We don't just gather and play games or watch sunsets together.
We don't eat ice cream and make daisy chains.
Instead, we became a society that avoids.
That no longer trusts.
I pause - and feel a sad, ironic laugh within. A term I once heard and read of over 35 years ago, a term I've written about over the years: Rugged Individualism, the term coined by M. Scott Peck, has redefined itself. Version II: Rugged Individual on steroids. 2026 speak.
I don't need anyone.
It's so bad I see people showing fear or timidity in asking for what they need.
In showing they need people.
I've experienced it.
"You're too needy."
That's a bad thing?
A character flaw?
Counselors have told me that this "need" of mine is often a trauma response.
Maybe it's just me being me?
Me being a people.
Barbra Streisand wasn't wrong when she sang that song.
Perhaps it's we people who lost the message along the way.
💖
Victoria
Welcome! I'm Victoria, Mama, writer, pianist, and storyteller.
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