By: Uncle🌞Matthew
The Art of Forgiveness is a process. You peel the layers off one by one until the onion is gone. Every layer may make you cry.
I choose to see people as they are rather than the person who hurt me.
I see them as emotionally undeveloped children, who live in an adult body. I see them with fragile egos, who have images of themselves that they hope others see too. The is ego.
When their image is threatened they feel justified in saying or doing anything if their feelings get hurt, and feel that self image is damaged.
I see them as cowards. Most people I have needed to forgive for any lasting emotional damage, are scared of facing their own selves.
Now if you said this to many people they would take great offence because it implies they are less than perfect, The truth is most don’t know what emotional developed looks like, or understands what the ego is.
This was me. I used the same method in forgiving myself. When I hurt people I was emotionally undeveloped, my ego was fragile.
When I forgive I visualize myself being hurt by a scared little Child. I don’t take things so personally, because most people have been so hurt themselves in their past, that they are just reacting to the pain from old wounds.
I feel it’s important to forgive because I don’t deserve to hold on to the pain caused by scared little children, that look like adults, but throw temper tantrums like a child. I don’t deserve to hurt because of somebody else’s hurt. I let it go as quickly as possible.
I know I was just a scared child when I hurt others too.
When you truly forgive it doesn’t justify their actions or behaviours, it just removes the pain their fear caused you.
If you really forgive someone, you want what’s best for them. In order to do that they have to forgive themselves. In order to do that they have to be aware and acknowledge the harm they do.
Unfortunately, if they can’t admit to themselves their own flaws and errors they are doomed to suffer perpetually. There is no way out of it. If you hurt someone so deeply and blatantly, yet you are unable to admit it, you are doomed.
I have have forgiven everyone for everything fully and completely, including myself, so I shall prosper.
You deserve peace, but that peace comes from within and that is a process of its realization.
Know your pain holds purpose. It's not what was done to you, but its your job to heal the pain caused by others who are wounded too.
If you learn to forgive others maybe they will learn to forgive others.
You are not your past, but to enjoy your present you need to release the anger in your heart. That is your anger, not their. It is serving no purpose other than causing you more pain and suffering.
Steps:
See them for who they are - unconscious wounded children trapped in the body of an adult.
They were reactive and hurt you to distract themselves from their own inner pain
What did you learn from it?
Know the anger and resentment is only hurting you, it's not affecting them.
It's time to release.
Know everyone is a part of us, by holding anger in your heart we are only hurting our own self.