Many of us have met mothers as martyrs on our life journeys. They’ve carved our their role in the world as people who have given up much for the sake of their family.
But narcissism in mothers is a whole new step in how to make children feel guilty. Narcissists always put themselves first, and tend to control people around them by criticising and failing to be grateful for others’ endeavours on their behalf. Yet daughters in particular can go through their whole lives craving the appreciation that they never receive. And as the mother gets older and needs more support, that relationship can become even more upsetting.
We know from the comments we get from readers of When They Get Older that this is a far more common situation than we might think. And it is heartbreaking.
How can daughters do what they consider to be their duty to their mothers, while suffering constant criticism – and often having to listen to praise of other family members who do far less in the way of support?
We asked our elder care counsellor for advice, and this is what she advised about setting clear boundaries.