When someone comes to and says their marriage is stale or loveless and they don't know what to do, I ask them if they have been taking part in the relationship or just simply in it going through the motions. Far to often people who truly love each other fall out of touch with each other even when they live together.
Between kids, jobs, keeping up the house, and everything else we deal with in life it's easy to put romance on the back burner. Things like date nights, thinking of you text and notes get put off for when we have more time. Then the daily norm doesn't include them at all. The good morning kiss and routine "I Love You " as we head out to work or take kids to school is supposed to hold our relationship together. The truth is love and marriage takes effort to keep it healthy. When effort isn't applied one or both people start to feel abandoned by their partner and may not even realize it or don't want to admit it out of shame.
Trust me I get it, it's hard to fit everything in when life is crazy. But if you want to take your marriage back to the place of warmth and love it once was or keep it there you have to make romance a priority. Now this doesn't mean you have to have sex every day. {Sorry Guys} There are going to be times you just are not up for sex, and that is ok! However, can you commit to giving 20-30 minutes a day to your partner? Have an actual conversation without distractions? Put the phone away, sit down and talk to each other. Share about your day, talk about goals, or hobbies. If you can do this while kids are in bed or at school. Set one day/night a week to have a date night . It's ok if date night is a movie at home after kids are in bed. {That's actually my favorite kind!} I know not everyone has a sitter.
Make it a point to compliment your partner daily, ladies men need this too! And make it a point to thank them for something they do everyday. Do not underestimate the power of notes and cards! And be honest with each other on how you are feeling. And don't forget the art of flirting! I will never understand why people think once they are married or in a long-term relationship, flirting has to stop. And touch! A hug that last more that 15 seconds, a kiss that is more than a quick peck, hold hands, or give a shoulder rub this helps keep intimacy alive even when you aren't up for sex.
The little thing do matter, and sometimes when we feel like our relationships are slowly dying, it's hard to admit they are because we stopped tending to that beautiful flower we planted.