Today I had a rather busy day planned. I had a business development class, I wanted to work on my business plan, I had also agreed to babysit for a friend. Let’s not forget I have a six year old of my own to look after.
My husband said he would help me in the afternoon, after he got some sleep. He works third shift so this was understandable. But as I was getting ready for the day, my husband got called to go back to work. I figured this meant he wasn’t going to be able to help me, but I assured myself I could handle it.
But to my surprise he offered to take our son with him, saying he would be fine. I was hesitant, but my son was excited about going with his dad. Before they even made it out of the house I was feeling guilty. I asked my husband again if he was sure he wanted to take our son with him, and told him I would keep him with me. But he said it was no problem for him to take him. Then he said I deserved a break and time to focus on my business!
I was hit with a wall of guilt! Why did I deserve a break? I’m the mom , I’m supposed to be the one who always takes care of the kid(s). Sound familiar? Then when my friend didn’t drop her child off, it was as if I was lost. Who was I if I wasn’t being a caregiver?
As I opened up my laptop and logged into my class, I had to fight the urge to call and check on my husband and son. Then I realized I never really ask for help, and often feel frustrated because it’s hard for me to focus on work sometimes when my son is running wild through the house. And part of me likes having that as an excuse! The other part of me feels guilty about asking for help, because as a mom I should be able to handle it!
After getting these two big eye opening realizations, I had to look at where these feelings and thoughts come from, and I learned them from watching my mother growing up, seeing my friends do the same, and even from social media.
I gave myself permission to accept help, so that I was no longer trapped in overwhelm. I realized that I don’t have to do everything myself and asking for help allows me to be a better mom, wife, and yes better business woman!
I might have to schedule things so it’s easier for my husband to be able to help, but he is available to help me. And I can ask for help with things at work as well! One of the biggest reasons women struggle to be successful is we feel guilty about asking for and receiving help! Let’s start changing that !