Good morning, everyone! I’m back with another blog post that may change your perspective on how you view liking and loving the people in your life. This could be your significant other(s), your friends, family, etc.
A lot of us have heard from the people we love, especially from our parents, that Loving you is more important than liking you. We’ve also heard, I don’t have to like you in order to work with you. Although all of this may be true, it almost always creates a hostile environment between people who genuinely care about each other.
I’m here to tell you that liking the people you love creates stronger bonds and is extremely significant in maintaining the love you have with one another. I don’t agree with parents telling their children that they do not like them. If you are a parent reading this, it’s incredibly damaging to verbalize how much you don’t like your child. Trying to soften the blow by saying you still love them comes off as very passive-aggressive and very inauthentic. We know how our energy shifts when we are around people we simply do not like, and being around people you don’t like (unless you’re in a workspace) comes off as very phony to me. If someone doesn’t like me, I’d prefer them to stay as far away from me as possible, including family.
Despite what anyone says, people who do not like you can be very dangerous to be around. They are typically envious about something you have or something you’re re able to achieve that they can’t. People who don’t like you will typically try to hold you back because they don’t want to see you doing better than them. They will also subconsciously prey on your demise because they want to have a reason to either see you fail or for you to keep crawling back to them when your plans don’t work out. So they can reassure you that they still love you. I’m no god, but I recommend staying far away from these people. It’s not okay to not like the people you love or for them not to like you.
Let’s talk about the difference between love and like.
Love:
1. An intense feeling of deep affection.
2. A great interest and pleasure in something.
Like:
Liking someone is a feeling of fondness, approval, or enjoyment in their company. It can also be described as a preference or inclination.
Explanation:
Liking someone can involve feeling a sense of affinity or similarity with them.
People are more likely to comply with requests from those they like.
Liking someone can be different from loving someone. Love involves a deeper connection, commitment, trust, and mutual support.
So now that we have the textbook definition of both, let’s break this all down.
Based on these definitions and examples, most people would say that loving someone sounds much more appealing than not liking them. But let me explain why these two forms of expression should be in alignment with one another to create the most harmonious relationships for you.
First:
1. Loving someone should include being there for them in their darkest moments, despite not liking them. It should include patience, support, showing affection, trust, commitment, communication, respect, empathy, and sacrifice, etc.
2. Liking someone should include genuine interest, showing appreciation, feeling happiness around the people who genuinely like you, finding them interesting, wanting to be around these people, a yearning to learn more about these people, etc.
Now, you reading this, if you’re on the opposing side of this topic, might say, still consider all of this love. I’m here to tell you it’s not.
People who tend to love you but not like you are not showing you appreciation, they don’t feel happy being around you, they don’t want to be around you (even if they force themselves to), they could care less about having common interests because guess what? They don’t want to be around you long enough to get to know you.
So why is liking someone vital when loving them? Because liking someone forms the bond necessary to maintain the love you have with one another, or anybody that you love in your life. Other than for your children, liking someone is typically the start of a union before loving them comes into play. But in the same breath, it’s possible to love a stranger. Liking someone means you want them involved in your life just as much as you want to be involved in theirs. Liking someone means you want to have fun with them and they bring you joy because you all have similarities or common interests. Liking someone means you want them there for your good moments. I wouldn’t dare have people around me during my greatest moments if they showed that they genuinely do not like me. I will admit that liking someone will have you doing some dumb stuff, but you must like the people you want to be around. If you genuinely do not like the people you love, stay away from them. Do you and them a favor by remaining far away from each other until you can bring back the expression of liking each other again, which takes love to start.
Loving someone is being there for their darkest moments. Love is typically unconditional, no matter how you look, how you smell, what you have or don’t have, or what condition you may be in, I’m going to love you. This is where like holds little to no weight. We all need people in our lives who love us regardless of how much they like us or don’t. But, do you see how leaving out liking someone doesn’t leave much room to actually enjoy them? Love is the security that we all need to know, that if something goes wrong, I need you there. Liking someone just means that I want you involved because you are a pleasure to be around. I genuinely enjoy you.
My personal thoughts:
You hear more mothers telling their daughters how much they dislike them, but won’t part their lips to tell their sons the same. You have people in relationships who can’t stand each other but try to play pretend in front of their kids as if they don’t already know. Your kids aren’t stupid, but you’re stupid for thinking that they are. You have men who don’t like women that are committing heinous acts towards them, affecting their health and well-being. You have women involved with these same types of men but want sympathy when things go wrong. Not liking someone can be very damaging and life-threatening. Please proceed with caution if you choose to do so.
This isn’t to say that all of those who may not like you are bad people. But what I am saying is that you need to have boundaries for people who like you and for people who dislike you. Pay attention to your energy, and if it doesn’t feel right, make room for people who will be there in the ways you need them to.
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Until next time, ciao 💋