Sometimes humor is a necessary part of healing. For me that is. I've long said my sarcasm and quick wit have kept me going here, especially when in the midst of unwanted situations. Earlier as I sat down here to work (on my other websites), the entity was in obvious need of attention, something I used to provide in quite excessive means. Today? Very different experience. He started to read headlines, to which I remarked I was busy working, another time perhaps. A normal person would say "ok" and move on. But this is not a normal situation. Since he's a totally self-absorbed narcissist and as such when he gets in the space where he needs attention from me and I am not giving it, he will amp up his annoyance, attempts and aggression. So instead of reading headlines, he starts telling me all of the things others are saying to him about what he is sharing online and then tossing out passive-aggressive nonsense such as "well ok it's there if you want to see it, if not, then don't bother, it's your choice" - and the blunt "whatever it's not important" said in that tone of his where there is a totally different energy/emotion behind his words. I tried to explain myself - once - and was over-powered with his interruption. He didn't care what I had to say because he doesn't respect me.
When he goes to this place, I get desperate now - I feel that energy in my body saying "GET AWAY NOW" so I hop into the bedroom (yes, I literally hopped like a bunny - I knew that would bother him), get my headsets, put them on my head, return to my laptop to work and start playing The Bee Gee's.
ANYTHING to drown him out.
Which, as I'm bopping in my chair to that awesome era of 70's disco, I start going through this list in my mind: WHAT IS BETTER TO MY EARS THAN LISTENING TO A NARCISSIST LOOKING FOR LOOSH
A leaf blower waking me up on a Sunday morning.
Horns honking behind me.
A screaming toddler in the middle of a crowded, loud store.
Rap music, turned up loud.
Glasspack mufflers.
Congressional hearings on C-Span
People chewing loudly with their mouth open.
People singing out of tune.
Someone's car alarm going off at 5am.
Whining.
A child attempting to play the violin for the first time.
He has since returned inside after being outside for a while and has not. stopped. talking. I went through some of his headline finds on his media page, told him so and he began to grill me, asking if I say this and saw that. If I don't answer correctly, he will get upset with me, so I lie, put back on the headsets and just tune him out once again.
Here is to our healing, our peace. And for all of those praying for whatever it is you need to GET OUT and STAY OUT - may we all have that too. N O W.
M.E.