I sit here, itching my neck out of sheer frustration. He's going out, again, to look for his little toys, wasting gas. We have just under half a tank, which he reasons is "plenty" for the next week. I remind him money comes in in TWO weeks - not one. With the healing work I am doing, I need to be driving each day to keep my momentum up - and I haven't been doing that because I am in conserve mode - having to use what comes in just to eat and pay bills.
Him?
He spent $50 on food - for himself - yesterday. Processed junk that he pushes on us when he knows my daughter and I cannot eat that kind of food.
As I have said he refuses to get a job. He has access to resources that would help him get p.t. work he can do, connecting with employers understanding of his health conditions.
I have been throwing that one at him a lot in recent days. Get a job. Take care of your child. And all this driving you are doing each week PUT GAS IN THE DAMN CAR.
BE THE MAN.
I know he won't - but I still put it out there at him. I still remind him with my words of his role as a parent, his obligations. He tells me to slow down and take a break for yesterday he saw and commented on how burned out I am. I said I WOULD if more money were coming into this house, but someone has to keep up with the cost of food now. He reminded me of the $25 I brought in the other day. "There's your gas money," he said. I gave him a blank stare.
Really? $25 when my bank account is already in two digits now and we have 2 weeks left to go before the monthly income comes in. That money is needed for food. Eat first. Especially having a teenager in the house who eats a lot - like any other kid.
What the hell was I (NOT) thinking when I agreed to have a relationship with this entity?
M.E.