We've all had that feeling. 'I don't feel like doing it'. It hits all of us, and sometimes it just doesn't go away. Guilty as charged.
The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur, but one thing I definitely remember is feeling like some of the things I know are a priority, I just didn't feel like doing. Excuses ranged from 'It doesn't make any difference' to 'I need to do this first' to everything in between. I've been in a good mood; I just haven't felt like doing some of the things I know I should.
Before anyone worries, I am fine. Genuinely fine. Work is going well, no financial stress (other than the occasional splurge that I probably don't need), the house is in great shape, car is running well, genuinely fine, on the outside. The inside, has been a mixed bag. My attitude has been good, and I think I'm relatively happy, just not very motivated. I haven't had the 'head down, pour myself into work' (or hobbies) that I normally do, after a long time of only looking after myself.
Okay, that last part may confuse some, so I'll explain. When I'm seeing someone, obviously there is a huge focus on my partner and I tend to want to live up to my best possible self. After a separation or break up, its head down and all of the energy I was using in the relationship, gets poured into work or hobbies. What I don't seem to be good at is the long-term single thing.
I am, for the very most part, happy with my life and sometimes don't feel the need to go out of my way to get to the top of the mountain. A slow gentle climb is fine and I don't care how long it takes. In fact, I enjoy long journeys. I'm just not sure I know how to want the very best for myself, and it sometimes has me taking long pauses without progress. Exhibit A.
So, while I figure this out, please be patient with me. I will post in here, but it may not be every week. I will publish YouTube videos, but it may not be on a regular cadence, and I will stream on Twitch, but it may not be on a schedule. Just know that if I miss something here or there, I'm still doing very well, I'm just trying to figure out a better way to stay motivated, hell, I may even be outside doing yardwork or at a beach somewhere. It's Spring time, I need to be outside. I'll get through all of this, just be patient with me.