So, I got a call to a local nightclub, one I used to frequent regularly, about looking at their computer. I went, checked things out, stuck around for a bit to have a beer or two and thought after saying a few goodbyes would make my exit. Then I caught something out of the corner of my eye that simply couldn't have been. It couldn't have been but it was.
The woman that arguably I have loved more than any in my life was standing in front of me telling me and everyone around us, how she used to be in love with me and I her. There was no anger, there was no longing, nor was there any tension or friction. She was simply reporting the news. Then things went back to the way they had so many times when we were dating. We did talk a bit about how things ended, and how they are now, and the evening went on.
I wouldn’t have been in there except for the call, and she no longer even lives in the area. It was fitting, though, that we run into each other there, being that’s where we met almost ten years ago. On any other night, it may not have happened.
In any case, when it was time for her to leave and for me to depart myself, there weren't any real goodbyes, or hope I get to see you again, or anything of the sort. We simply left each other, and except for trying to make sure she had her card after closing her tab, there wasn't any conversation. It just ended. It was almost like she had never walked in in the first place. And it was okay.
When the relationship ended, things weren't great for either of us and I'm still hesitant to commit myself in any real way since, but neither of us tried to use any of that against the other. We were just sitting at the bar, hanging out and having a good night. It was a very comfortable situation. We talked about a myriad of things, past and present, and when it was time to go, it was over. She left and I left, with no plans to talk to each other or see each other. Closure?
Am I tempted to try to talk to her and try again or just be friends or something? No, I don't really think so. I will always love her, and I will always feel bad about the way things ended, but we were both to blame. If we can run into each other three or four years after, be civil and just enjoy each other being there for a while, then things are okay.
The lesson here? You can't outrun your past.
Even if this exact situation hadn't happened, it has still made a difference in how I approach relationships. It's not WHAT happens, it's how we react and adjust to what happens. A year and a half ago, I may have reacted very differently. I may have been longing for, or looking for a way to try again, and for all I know she may have felt the same. It doesn't feel that way now. The wounds have healed and life has gone on.
Learn from your past. The good, the bad, all of it. Wounds heal, and yes, sometimes the scars are worth talking about, but it makes us stronger. So, yes. There is closure.