One thing that has always overshadowed most of my life is a feeling of oppressive guilt.
Where did I inherit this from?
Why do I bend every time the feeling of guilt creeps into my bones?
Was it something that my parents instilled in me? Was it growing up in Catholic culture and the whole concept that I need to continually be paying for my sinful soul?
I don't know and I don't care anymore I just want it to stop!!!!!
I am sick and tired of feeling guilty about everything.
Not doing enough.
Not being enough.
Not doing things well enough.
Not earning enough money.
Not being there for people.
Not being a good mother.
Now I also have to feel guilty about getting older and having grey hair!
I have spent this year trying to dig down to find that one core emotion that has paralysed my own personal growth in my life and business and the word that describes it all is GUILT.
The feelin of guilt is described as a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong, such as causing harm to another person.
If you know this emotion then you know what this feels like and how it can be manipulated so easily by those who know that they can literally get almost anything out of you if that press that GUILT BUTTON.
Now did you know that there are four types of guilt?
Natural guilt: Natural guilt, simply put, is what you feel after you think you did something wrong. For example, if you break a promise to a friend, you might convince yourself you’re a bad friend. You chastise and think about what you should have done. You made a promise, and naturally, you feel guilty, prompting you to want to apologize. Natural guilt is often temporary and goes away after resolution.
Chronic guilt: This type happens from prolonged exposure to stress. Chronic guilt affects a person’s ability to regulate their emotions. A teacher, for example, may feel overworked and emotionally drained, which can affect relationships with students. The resulting guilt becomes a symptom of chronic-work related stress, or burnout. Some researchers argue for the inclusion of guilt in clinical evaluations of burnout. Chronic guilt can also occur with episodes of major depression.
Collective guilt: This type involves a sense of group or shared responsibility. Residents of a city may experience collective guilt about people experiencing homelessness in their neighborhood. In this scenario, the residents feel personal responsibility and guilt about not taking action to help. Collective guilt is harder to resolve since it’s embedded within systemic problems.
Survivor guilt: Traumatic events, such as witnessing a large-scale tragedy, may cause feelings of remorse and sadness. This could look like someone surviving an accident and then feeling guilty for the people who did not. Conversely, you may also feel guilty for being happy to be alive. Survivor guilt is characterized by conflicting emotional states.
That was from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-stop-feeling-guilty#types
My suggestion is that you don't dig too deeply if you are feeling vulnerable or it WILL open up a can of worms.
But it is important to understand what emotion rules you thinking and reactive way of being.
It will help you to understand why you do the things that you do.
It's your wounded place.
My guilt can be bought down and fine tuned and fits into category 2 out of the four examples above.
It is because of prolonged stress and anxiety from a religious upbringing and my home life and then the unfolding movement from one disaster to the next as I went from one misunderstood set of life circumstances to the next.
I could have been a lot smarter about my decisions but I was too busy feeling supremely guilty!
Maybe you can resinate with these feelings?
Forever doing what you do not want to do buy feeling that you HAVE to?
Forever oppressing your own feelings for the sake of everyone else's?
How has it impacted YOUR life?
It's easy saying, 'Just don't give a shit'!
But if you could do that...you would not be trapped in the guilt cycle - it's because you DO give a shit.
Anyway - have a little think about whether you may also have a huge issue with guilt too.
Much Love - Renata