(And it has nothing to do with technique!)
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Have you ever taken on a hobby or activity that you instinctively know has the power to ruin your every expectation? Maybe you have a sweater pattern in mind when you begin to knit or perhaps the perfect sourdough bread recipe, but putting your hand to the needles or even in the dough doesn’t go according to plan? This has happened to me. Golf has wrecked me, and I confess that I have no regrets for taking up such a frustrating and utterly embarrassing game.
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Unlike knitting, reading, or gardening, each of which brings much more pleasure than dissatisfaction, golf is utterly and undeniably the best/worst game ever invented.
This year will be my 5th golf season. I am 100% a hack. I lose more balls than anyone I know, my handicap lingers in the 20s, bad hits make me swear, and I love every minute of it.
Not particularly an athlete, I did dabble in sports as a kid. I enjoyed softball, playing 3rd base until my freshman year when a bad hop broke my nose, and Dave L. broke my heart. He stood me up for the homecoming dance. Apparently, the double black eyes and nose brace didn’t match my corsage.
Growing up, I played enough “mermaid” and “synchronized swimming” in my aunt’s swimming pool to delusionally think I could join the swim and dive team my sophomore year. However, after realizing I wasn’t scoring any points for my team, I decided it wasn’t worth the time it took to wash my hair. And I quit after one season.
These are true stories.
Now, I’m a middle-aged woman who “golfs”. Deciding to play was a bit of a kismet moment. Two things happened. First, we moved two blocks away from a golf course. Then, my husband purchased a set of clearance golf clubs from a big box store for me. The clubs were small, built for a teen, were purple, and too short for my 5’9” frame.
Nonetheless, knowing I love being outside and feeling overconfident in my putt-putt skills, I gave golf a try.
It turns out it’s a lot of fun driving the little golf cart around, cold beverage in hand as the sun tans your arms. I’ve also made new friends and built a camaraderie with my neighbors (check out this vid where I smack talk my friends on the first tee).
With no training, no understanding of golf etiquette, and no idea how to read a green, I played because of the joy I felt being outside. In addition, I’m anticipating golf would be a hobby the hubs and I could enjoy together in our retirement years.
Now, I’ve got little golf outfits, use social media to learn tips and tricks, was named Golfer of the Year at ladies league, have played in my first golf tournament (I came in last!), and have the motivation to improve my game. Oh, and I upgraded my golf clubs, although I am already eyeing a new Hybrid for my middle game.
Learning golf came with many ups and even more downs. I have been frustrated (check out this vid when I hit a tree and almost took off my head) and embarrassed but at the same time, I have experienced pleasure and pride in myself.
What other hobby does that?
All this joy and learning and frustration from a little ball and hole. It makes me wonder how the experience has been a challenge - one that has been very good for me.
I can’t remember the last time I purposefully put myself in a situation where I would likely fail. Lately, maybe because of my age - or experience, I find myself thinking more about how to make things easier. Simple.
I think we work so hard looking for
shortcuts,
hacks,
efficiency, and
comfortability that we forget about the benefits of
stretching,
learning,
failing, and
trying again.
In my third year of golfing, I almost quit. Like, throw my clubs in the water, shake my fist to the sky, and walk away from the game kinda quit. And now, I’m proud of myself. I don’t know the last time I put myself in a situation to feel that feeling.
Turns out it feels pretty good.
You should try it. Try something different, expand your horizons, find a hobby, reach for the stars, or learn something new.
It’s kinda fun.
And awful.
But it's also great because somehow you get a little prouder, grow a little stronger, and feel a little wiser.
So, if you see me out on the course, know I’m having the time of my life despite looking for balls in the weeds or using the occasional swear word after a shank shot. Golf has taught me that not everything easy is fun. Sometimes, the joy is in the trying.
“Fore!”