- HAHK 1994
Hum Aapke Hain Kaun is a Hindi Cinema Cult Classic made by Sooraj Barjatya of Rajshri Productions in 1994. The story revolves around Prem and Nisha and their families who are united by a marriage. There might not be a single household left in the Hindi belt of India where this movie hasn’t been played once at least. Being a favourite of my family as well, I’ve unintentionally watched it multiple times and I also keep noticing the same issues over and over again. There has not been a single watch from me where I could ignore them so here’s a vent out.
1. Why is Lallu never seen working on his actual job?
- HAHK 1994
The movie starts with Lallu, the servant, doing commentary for a cricket match in his master’s backyard. He is even the first one to bat. In almost every second scene, he is seen joking with the family members, acting as a middleman between them and partaking in every single fun activity in Kailash Nath’s family. From time to time I have to, and sometimes the Mami Ji in the movie has to remind the viewers that he is a servant. I’m all in for maintaining good ties with the house helps but surely no family would appreciate a househelp who is no help in the house. The guy is being paid just to have fun in a large house. I only ever see Chameli, the other servant, busy with her job and only participating in chit-chat whenever necessary or justifiable.
Not only that, Mr. Lallu is taking full advantage of this opportunity and even using Pooja, the new daughter-in-law of the family to learn English instead of doing house chores. The only thing I’ve seen in the movie where he does some duties is serving tea, paan etc and not without a touch of mischief. Sooraj Barjatya could’ve made him Prem’s friend like he did in Maine Pyar Kiya if his screen time was going to be this large. Or if this is how servants are in his house, *ahem* I see no issue in being a servant lol—quite a nice life.
2. What was that insane Chemistry between the in-laws?
- HAHK 1994
Those close-up shots of Reema Lagoo and Alok Nath in the Samdhi -Samdhan song cringe me out every single time. My question is to Mr Siddharth Choudhary. Sir, how do you manage to wear the ‘cuck’ tag as a crown? Our jolly Mr. Choudhary not only reveals his friend’s crush on his wife in front of a huge crowd of guests but even presses him to sing a song for her. Further, our professor requests his wife, who is visibly shy by Kailash Nath’s confession, to make a request of him because that would work more. The second-hand embarrassment I got was surpassing normal limits.
- HAHK 1994
Mrs. Chouhary’s interactions with her husband are something like — ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Show some maturity!’ or ‘Who did this?’ with little to no spark. But one look from Kailash Nath makes her hide her face with her hands. They’re oozing chemistry throughout in front of their kids and family. The math ain’t mathing y’all.
3. Prem And Nisha Are Dancing In the Whole House But Nobody Notices?
- HAHK 1994
Prem gets touchy with Nisha in the kitchen. Then he carries her above his shoulder, crosses the hall and places her on the pool table. He sings for her, then takes her near the swimming pool and they display one of the quintessential awkward dance choreographies of Bollywood from the 90s.
- HAHK 1994
He again picks her up and places her on his car’s bonnet. Not to mention this all began with him playing his ukelele.
- HAHK 1994
I wake up even if a single tap is slightly leaking in my house and here, the Kailash Nath family members snore like there is no tomorrow. The only one who cannot handle it like us is the unborn guy in Pooja’s tummy who decides if nobody is going to stop this menace, it’s time for me to come out and make some noise myself. Imagine being so loud that you make a pregnant woman deliver her baby.
4. Train Or Bus?
- HAHK 1994
Bollywood and its evergreen relationship with trains. I believe trains have greatly influenced Hindi Cinema’s immense popularity. So many times, we see a train sequence saving the screenplay, adding a special touch, making way for a nice song, a fantastic opening, or a memorable end. But Hum Aapke Hain Kaun couldn’t use it well.
Mr and Mrs Choudhary decide to return to their house and the plan cannot be cancelled because their train tickets have been booked. Then our jolly doctor uncle cancels the tickets. Sometime earlier in the movie, Prem is tasked to pick up Nisha from his car for the pregnancy celebrations. He leaves in the morning, picks her up, and they manage to have a long dance sequence in a village, they drop by a temple to offer prayers as well and safely arrive in the evening. If a car journey is possible, why go for a train? Not to mention, Mr and Mrs Choudhary arrived in a car as well. The route is only 3–4 hours as mentioned at the movie’s beginning. Here the train is included just to get cancelled. The whole scene of stopping the family for one more day could’ve been done without using trains. But I guess trains are considered a lucky charm in Hindi Cinema for a movie’s success so inclusion is a necessity.
5. The Blind Pooja.
- HAHK 1994
When the family is stopped for another day, they have a fun game night. And our new mother Pooja finds out that Chameli loves Lallu. How? Because after Lallu’s punishment in the game (yes among the 2 servants, Lallu is playing but Chameli is sitting aside), Chameli claps very fast for him. From this act itself, Pooja deduces the affection.
- HAHK 1994
Prem and Nisha wink at each other in the same game, break beds, shoot flowers on each other’s asses, have a flirtatious face-off in Didi Tera Dewar and Joote Dedo songs, dance and romance all night, and pass cheesy lines to each other throughout the movie but all in vain.
- HAHK 1994
Maybe Nisha should’ve clapped for Prem for her ‘sensible’ sister to make out their story.
6. The Famous Staircase Fall.
- HAHK 1994
This scene is how the Gen-Z knows the movie. Now an Indian pop culture reference, this scene has everyone talking every once in a while because of multiple reasons. The most famous being — HOW IN THE WORLD?!
People had trouble understanding how Pooja could fall from the staircase of her own house, and that too from looking elsewhere for a second. Who falls in their own house’s staircase? As someone who has lived in that house since childhood, Pooja should’ve memorised every single crack in the staircase, every tile that makes noise, and every stair that’s out of symmetry. There must’ve been a thousand slips before this one as well where Pooja didn’t kill herself. But as we discussed in the previous point, Pooja is somewhat blind. She did ‘palat’ once and RIP.
7. Drum Rolls Please Misogyny.
- HAHK 1994
The point many have been waiting for from the beginning of this blog I’m sure. Of course, everyone noticed the common regressive points of the movie like marriage after college, huge ‘sanskari’ expectations of a woman, traditional clothes = ideal woman, short clothes = a bimbo, and some more that I’ll discuss below, but this one pisses me off more than others.
After Prem and Nisha confess their love and Nisha leaves for her house, a parting song comes in. The leads are fantasising about their future together. While Nisha fantasises about her marriage day, how the marriage ceremonies would play out, how they would visit temples with their siblings etc, Prem fantasises about Nisha docked up in a saree, working in the kitchen, cooking for him, making his tie, serving him food after his bath and heck even wiping his body after bath.
- HAHK 1994
If this is a man’s idea of a marriage, today’s women would drop him like a hot potato. And I’m glad about it. I wouldn’t have minded this at all if Prem was fantasising about cooking for her as well, serving her food, and cough wiping her after her bath is okay too. And if Nisha was fantasising a little about having a job as well, then her computer degree could’ve been of use in an office instead of a conversation near the pool table.
- HAHK 1994
8. The marriage misunderstanding.
- HAHK 1994
Slow claps for Mr Choudhary to think of his daughter’s marriage to a widower. But okay Indian parents are infamous for their antics regarding marriage but Nisha should’ve known better. How can someone misunderstand who her to-be-husband is? Sure she didn’t realise when she overheard her parents talk, but surely there must’ve been discussions later on? Before the pre-marriage ceremonies? I find it hard to believe such an important matter can have this big a blunder. Nisha probably thought that, unlike her sister, her parents were not blind and saw her affection for Prem. But her parents are idiots on top of being blind.
This misunderstanding wasn’t necessary in my opinion. Her parents could’ve laid out their idea straightaway and Nisha would’ve proceeded to agree anyway for the same reasons she did in the movie — her nephew.
9. In Bollywood, a slap makes a woman pregnant.
- HAHK 1994
RIP Biology. The cycle of abusive behaviour being touted as a macho thing which impresses women needs to end. It didn’t start from HAHK but it didn’t end there either. Mami ji went a little overboard indeed in convincing her nephew-in-law to remarry but nothing warrants disrespect, abuse and domestic violence. If her husband was man enough he would’ve handled the situation with words instead of his sickly hand and probably would’ve been a father long ago.
- HAHK 1994
The guy seems to have no life of his own and is seen clinging to his brother-in-law in every scene. He is portrayed as a sensible man who acts as a narrator for the story and introduces Pooja to the Kailash Nath family. But he’s a mere second fiddle with little to no individuality except for his toxic scene at the end. Mami Ji was indeed a woman of poor character but she should’ve slapped him back with her hands double his size and divorced his sorry ass. But whatever made Sooraj Barjatya sleep at night, he did it.
10. The Necklace.
- HAHK 1994
We become extra crucial for the climax I know. But why not? If the climax is unconvincing, the entire foreplay falls flat and fails to leave a mark. It’s like a balloon which bursts after an impressive inflation. Writers need to give extra time and care to the ending to stop people like me from including it in their ‘10 weird things about XYZ movie’ blogs.
Why is Nisha giving away the necklace? She is going to the same house. She is replacing her sister. Eventually, it will come back to her lol. Even if she is giving it away, why do it on the marriage day? Couldn’t you return it to him after you guys reach home? Well okay, you were emotional and wanted to be done with it. Then why the note? It’s self-explanatory why you are returning it. Prem is not a thumb-sucking child who would need an explanation, he topped his MBA you know, like every hero does in his movie.
- HAHK 1994
Okay the note is there still because Prem is somewhat of a man-child who needs his body wiped after a bath understood, but why entrust that to a dog? Not to mention Nisha wraps the expensive family heirloom with major emotional significance in the movie in a small handkerchief with loose knots and gives it to Tuffy. She could’ve told one of her friends or attempted it herself after marriage was done. What is Prem going to do with the necklace in the remaining marriage ceremony? Carry it in his pocket?
The scene could’ve been better but I’m glad it wasn’t because it would make me 1 point short here.
- HAHK 1994
But even after all my nitpicking, Hum Aapke Hain Koun is a timeless family entertainer that one can watch with anyone anywhere. It deserves its status as a cult classic and its legacy on Indian TV serials is remarkable. The current Bollywood is ridden with mediocrity, poor writing, poor scripts, terrible actors, terrible infrastructure and abominable levels of conceit. My 10 points would cross 100 if I critique the current Bollywood movies. We are in dire need of movies like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun to revive the genre of family entertainers, to get families together, and to bring back the theatres and Indians’ nostalgia to life.
- HAHK 1994
Filmmakers have tried time and again to recreate something as close as possible to HAHK but it has been 30 years of their failure. And I’m convinced there are 30 more to come.