The Question
Have you ever felt like you're not good enough for any reason (not good enough for someone, or to do something)? And I am going to take a wild guess that as you were thinking that thought you started feeling alone or incapable. Well if your answer is yes, welcome! You are a member of the millions if not billions of people who either hear that voice often, or have told themselves this a time or two.
The next time you hear the voice that says you're not good enough, agree with it excitedly and say,"Who the 'hell' dreams to be good enough anyway."
The Conversation
I want you to imagine that you and I are having a conversation, in which I am telling you about the long hard working week I have had, both personally and professionally. I tell you that I feel inadequate fulfilling my actions as a wife, entrepreneur and mother. I finally articulate exactly what I'm feeling...I say, "I feel like I am never good enough." You being the good friend to me that you are, you offer your support and some comforting words that state that I am good enough. I hear you but persist to continue on in my rant and say, "All I ever want to be, dream to be is good enough, a good enough wife, a good enough entrepreneur, a good enough mother (somewhere at this point the violins have begun to play in the background to soundtrack me-why not add a little visual humor here), good enough to be seen, heard, understood, good enough to make the necessary changes in my life to create the life I want and help others."
"There is nothing that blocks the pathway to remarkable relationships and success than you wishing you were good enough."
The Madness
What are you thinking after you've heard all this? Well if you're anything like me, your supportiveness as a friend is joined by your logic and you think, who the 'hell' dreams to be good enough anyway. When starting something new, whether it be a new job, new position, business, relationship, etc., who says with intense passion, wishes, dreams and prays to be good enough. Let me rephrase that by saying, who consciously says, thinks, or believes that setting out to be good enough is a powerful, truthful statement that will set them on a path of longevity and happiness in their life pursuits. When we seek out our experiences in life we aspire for them to be great, excellent even. Regardless of how irrational it seems when we focus on the specific area(s) we struggle with this thought in, put it in writing, or say it slowly out loud to ourselves it doesn't stop this thought from circulating our minds, impeding in on our faith and belief in our capacity to be and do. There is nothing that blocks the pathway to remarkable relationships and success than you wishing you were good enough.
The Unreasonable Why
Why does this conversation between the Judge and Victim in our minds reoccur so often, so easily. As if being good enough will justify our existence or improve our ability to just be ourselves. Maybe it's the pressures of society, maybe it was that damaging moment from our childhood, or maybe it's our fear of rejection, risk and failure that perpetuates the thought. Whatever the reasons are doesn't matter, it or they can kick rocks! It's not worth your energy to take time pondering on and internalizing over a trick question. You can't reason with a trickster. Remember 'tricks are for kids you silly rabbit' and I don't mean that on the basis of age, it's more so from the maturity level of our understanding. The truth is wishing to be good enough is the same thing as proclaiming you're not good enough. And when we allow this trick and treason of a thought to clutter our minds we put into questioning everything about ourselves and cloud the vision of our greatness.
The Non-Resistant Response
In the realm of time and process reaction and response are light years apart. Ok, I am being facetious here, but there is vast difference between the two actions. Additionally, there is a difference in the affects and outcomes we create when we practice non-resistance rather than resistance. Reaction is instinctive, resistant, it sets out immediately in your defense to remove that which is foreign to you. For example, your body reacting to you taking expired medicine or eating stale food, there is little or no thought in the necessity to expunge whatever foreign material the body cannot absorb, digest. However, this can be dangerous when what is foreign to you is also necessary for you to consider, embrace for change and growth. Response has the advantage of thoughtfulness and non-resistance. When you respond you consider the external stimuli that is being presented before a choice of action is made. And the moment you choose to consider outside of your instinctual reaction you have become open to being non-resistant to the process.
The Process & Purpose
Why am I saying all this? Because when we have our thoughts of not being good enough, we often react to it either by trying to fight, resist the thought by ridding it from our thought pattern, or we allow it to shift our emotions and twist our beliefs about who we are. But what if I said the idea of never being good enough is provoked by the very thought of change and newness and is a natural occurrence to help you face fear and defeat obstacles. Well then we would have to do as the saying goes, 'if you can't beat'em, join'em.'
The Challenge & Evolution
I challenge you the next time that thought comes to you to respond to it thoughtfully. Disarm the trick questioning of your innate abilities by being non-resistant. Agree and embrace the truth in the thought of never being good enough, which is you were never meant to be and never will be good enough, because wishing to be good enough for someone or in any other area of your life would mean having to hide your Greatness. I will leave you until next time on this note, as author Seth Godin states in his brilliant book 'Tribes':
"Good enough," stopped being good enough a long time ago, so why not be great!"