Aug 23, 2021

It is hard to think about love & relationships without thinking about service. Either you're going to think about how feeling loved from being in a relationship serves your needs of: companionship, intimacy, connection, partnership, etc., or you'll think about some of those same things from the perspective of how you will have to serve in the relationship. The effort you will have to make and what you have to give, which is EVERYTHING, for the relationship to last and grow.

This reality can come as a double edged sword. Influencing you to desire to be in a relationship, and then question whether you're ready to be in one all at the same time. Whether you want to give that much of yourself to a relationship. Especially, if you've been hurt before and feel like you've loved and lost.

It is natural to feel that way, but what if I offered you an alternative way of thinking about love and lost. What if there was a way to never lose in love? Would you feel more freedom to serve, be vulnerable and open to test the waters of love again and again? 

                    "You never lose in love because love always comes to serve you." 

Losing in love is a matter of focus and perspective. What we focus on expands. If we choose to believe that we’ve lost in loving, in serving someone then it will be so. But what do we lose really when relationships don’t work out. I want you to think about a time in love, in a relationship where you felt like you lost. What was being threatened to be taking away from you? Do you still have it?

Can someone truly take away your ability to choose and act on love? The answer is, no. Beyond the skewed feelings of love's loss is the truth of love's eternal constant service to us and for us. Love does not shift we do as we filter our life experiences through our lens. When we feel like we’ve lost in love, what really has happened is we’ve disconnected from the reality that love still exists. It is always readily available for us to reconnect to, embrace and use.

Love always comes in service to us and our relationships, so if we focus on service we will never lose and will always grow through every relationship even the ones that don't last.

How do you focus on service? By committing to understanding in the beginning, throughout and even at the end of your relationship that,

"Everything comes to serve."

We commit in relationships we take vows in marriage. The wise person who wrote the vows that many couples recite on their wedding day understood that it was important to put both the extremely enjoyable and not so pleasant times because it all comes to serve each individual and the relationship. If we purpose every circumstance, condition, conflict, etc that comes into our relationships to serve the relationship in love, then it will. When situations occur in your relationship say this mantra:

"How have you come to serve me...

How will you serve us...

So we can serve each other better."

If we keep this positive, service minded, solution-orientated belief system to guide our relationships we will never lose in love. We will only continue to grow in love through our service to each other. We will inevitably widen in our understanding and capacity to love, because we have intentionally allowed love to serve us in every situation and accept wholeheartedly the wisdom in its guidance. 

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