"I had to forgive you without you asking for it. I couldn't live without you, so I fought for you. I fought to forgive you. It doesn't mean that it is not hard or painful. When the pain comes I ask God to help, because that is the true meaning of love...Forgiveness."
-snippet from a scene in the African independent film
"Couple of Days"
You can check it out on Netflix. The movies okay, but I was more so moved by the ending message of the film.
Forgiving someone who hasn’t asked for your forgiveness is one of the most challenging things to do in love and relationships. It is not easy to forgive a person who remains in the "dark,” about their offense. A person who has not acknowledged, is hiding, or is not in complete acceptance that they’ve committed negative action(s) that have affected you in some way
When you have two people open, vulnerable and learning to love each other, sensitivity is heightened and offense will occur. Each person is going to be offended at one point or another by something the other person did. Forgiveness is essential to making it through those difficult times. Choosing to forgive does not mean that you don't seek change from patterns that are not benefiting and refining the relationship for the better.
What forgiveness guarantees is it liberates us, and affords us to go through our relationships with more ease because we choose to release the extra weight of holding unto the burden of someone else's actions. If both individuals choose forgiveness above all else in the relationship, it is easier to move past the offenses made, to find their way back to love.
What helps you to forgive in your relationships?