Notes: During the trauma of my mother's illness, I fell in love. A love I realized that was based on human need. A bond created from the trauma—a trauma bond. It felt pre-destined. And what I now believe - a soul contract. It was always doomed. But it was a lesson, and it kept me alive. It brought my focus into the world, rather than out of it.
The words to this poem came upon me about 10 years after seeing him for the last time. I had seen a recent picture of him. Since the last meeting, I had often questioned whether what I felt was real or not. This was my answer then.
The poem:
I saw a face I used to know—
A love, a dream
I cried not tears for love or pain,
But because I knew
I could never dream the dream again
Bittersweet; a painted screen
The one I loved, I couldn't see in his face
The love was real
I believed; I believe
The beauty and flaws that used to be,
Gone innocence; gone belief
Gone the dream
Now I cry for the loss of him,
The memory of what used to be
But I remain, still tossed at sea—
And dream