Growing up wasn't hard for me, I have loving parents and family, who always cherished me with whatever needs I had and told me to go on a path of simple living and honest conversations with people.
I would always question them on why they thought that people are good and should always be treated with respect, even though they did some pretty bad things to our family. They would answer this by saying
"We should let people do whatever they want to do, ultimately their karma would pay back to them"- but I was always left with this sour taste in my mouth after someone cheated on us or disrespected my parents.
Fast forward to my college life, safe to say that I had an absolute blast the whole time, I made some great friends who were not manipulative or had any sort of drug addiction.
Things didn't change much and we went on to live the life we were used to. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Mechatronics Engineering and soon joined a multinational company. Luckily I had one of my classmates join me there, I was so happy that I will have a friend at my first workplace. Little did I know, what I was considering the most golden opportunity would soon turn out to be the worst curse ever.
I got close to him, and slowly we were sharing a bond together. We used to go out and have fun, I thought this "friend" is a great guy.
Soon I realised something about this "friend". All he used to talk about was demeaning people behind their backs and quite literally saying that he wants other people( some other colleagues ) to go down so badly that they can't get up again.
I brushed it off as his anger and didn't notice much, because I had been taught that people were always good
I started sharing personal stuff with him and didn't notice that he did not share his own secrets. I overestimated our friendship over the 1 year and got to know the hard way what kind of person he was.
I was always an avid reader, so I visited bookstores often. One sunny day I was drifting through the psychology section when I found out about the book "The Laws of Human Nature" - By Robert Greene. I picked it up and as fate would have it, I opened the chapter named "Beware of the Envy", ironically it was the smallest chapter which further reduces the chances of it getting selected by random.
I read through it as I was captivated by its starting lines
We humans are naturally compelled to compare ourselves with one another. We are continually measuring people's status, the levels of respect and attention they receive, and noticing any differences between what we have and what they have. For some of us, this need to compare serves as a spur to excel through our work. For others, it can turn into deep envy—feelings of inferiority and frustration that lead to covert attacks and sabotage. Nobody admits to acting out of envy. You must recognize the early warning signs—praise and bids for friendship that seem effusive and out of proportion; subtle digs at you under the guise of good-natured humor; apparent uneasiness with your success. It is most likely to crop up among friends or your peers in the same profession. Learn to deflect envy by drawing attention away from yourself. Develop your sense of self-worth from internal standards and not incessant comparisons.
I instantly thought "Holy F**k" this is exactly the characteristics of my friend.
Every time someone achieves something more than him, he goes on and starts bitching about him! I was going nowhere with him, he had no dreams, no desires, no personality. Only a moth mooching off other people's energy
That was the big "AHA" moment for me, I dug deep into this book, then another, then another and so on. I finally started to get hold of people's behaviours and patterns.
On the other hand, I started slowly going away from him, less time together, less information sharing, less talking and finally cut him off fully. He caught on to this and got very angry with me, calling me selfish and self-centred.
I ignored him, focused on my work and office politics. I started to make good connections, actual fruitful connections.
Started to get in the eyes of higher-ups who promoted me in front of the whole company, and this further fueled his envy. He got so mad ( you wont believe what he did). He actually devised a plan with 38 other people to throw me off the whole company community and everyone collectively boycott me.
They approached my bosses and started to spill poison in their ears! ( I got to know this on my last day of employment)
No wonder why everyone looked at me in a weird way and never talked to me even though I never did anything wrong to them. I got a hint of this thing when they used to laugh at me when I would come in front of them, talking in circles and even kicking me out of the common Whatsapp group.
Well, I acted with patience, because I knew there was no solution to envious people and focused on my work and my Twitter Business, in the course of learning about body language, Persuasion and Psychology, I helped many people with their local businesses, One particular case I remember of a wedding host, he was struggling to close a client and was not very good at negotiating, I sat down with him and guided him on his body language, posture and words to speak when pitching to clients, Guess what
The guy closed sales worth $12,000, the next day!!
He thanked me and said that every penny he paid to me was worth it, It made me so happy that I could help even 1 person with the knowledge that I possess.
On the other side, I was making strides in office politics with a promotion coming in 6 months I was the first person who got promoted that fast in the corporate ladder of my company. I knew I had to get out of this toxic environment, even though I was trying really hard not to notice things being said about me.
It was not that I was worried about my Image, it was shining bright with department heads supporting me in every way possible, it was the fact that I have move on with my life and search for better opportunities ahead of life
One thing that I suffered the most was with a clear framework to follow to know a person inside out, one framework to know how to use body language to persuade people, I went through countless articles, books, webinars and meetings to present you with the ideas that are compressed into a tiny email, which educates you about these dynamics in everyday life, preventing you from enduring something that I went through and even something which has higher stakes than that!