Not quite yet !
Not quite yet!
I find myself smiling at odd times.
Day dreaming of summer time ahead-
Not so unusual an activity in Spring.
I want to go to the beach or a lake
with a cooler of beer and tons of friends.
Sunburned skin cause we stayed too long.
Not wanting to leave,
We build a fire
Sing oldies-who brought a guitar?
Wait-
Oh my God, music!
Live!
An arena full of people,
A dive and local band!
Street musicians at some festivals!
Wait!
Festivals!
Wine festivals, carnival rides, food trucks!
Oh, my gosh, Fourth of July
Fireworks!
Ice Cream Trucks in a neighborhood and kids running.
I will join them in bare feet.
A popsicle becomes my eat a peach.
Wait-
I will live.
I am alive.
I survived.
I will sleep under the stars.
I will find some nameless one,
Our bodies entwined,
Perhaps on a beach
Like I'm in a summer movie -
Beach Blanket or Grease or
Wait!
A movie in a theater,
Who in the fuck cares what we see?
Except I want it to be something
Except I want it to be something great!
Star Wars or Fight The Future or Independence Day!
Something with adventure where we know the good guys from the bad
Something that makes us feel like we can always beat the odds.
Wait!
Not quite yet.
i am a country mouse new to a city.
I am an immigrant fresh off a boat.
I am a girl on a first date
My first time in a restaurant?
I shook someone's hand-
How stupid could I be!
i’m not used to noise.
Traffic!
Someone coughed!
Oh, it was me!
Everyone's looking!
Like I carry the...
Not quite yet?
I'm sixty but going on seventeen this summer.
Excited and hungry to embrace an experience, an unfamiliar emotion,
Yet I am anxious and scared, emotions which I know well.
Who will I be in the new normal?
Can I adjust?
I want to hold onto virtual conferences and book clubs with friends across the globe
I don't want to give up my zoom.
I would miss my friends not near.
What will this new world be?
I'm a stranger in a strange land.
I'm a person who was drowning with first breath of oxygen in my lungs!
I'm Alice in Wonderland!
No, the best description is seventeen-
No longer a child and not yet an adult.
No, i'm clearly an adult.
My God, I'm old!
Yet, still, it feels like that type of in between.
So much, so much, so much to experience, but still an adult mind says…
WAIT.