Well a lot has happened in the past week so I thought I would give an update.
In FL I had another mini breakthrough on my own perception of my life and was able to get some things straightened out in my own head and was immediately able to implement it. It was cool to see.
First, my dad seams to be doing much better. Happy to say that there was 0 brain damage and that this might have been the scare that my dad needed to get his health in order. It's a long road ahead of him but I am hopeful that my dad can make some changes in his daily routine that will help him live a happier and more full life.
One thing that was a big change was I was driving home from my job on the last day and I was just thanking God for giving me the strength to complete the job, while I was praying I felt like I should not have sex until I get married.
Wow yeah I know straight out of left field comes this one. Well I guess not so strange, I mean i did date a girl for three months and we didn't have sex. All my friends thought I was crazy at first, but now I don't think it sounds so nuts.
Well yeah so I am going to try and not have sex before I get married, if I get married.
And the funny thing is that when I decided to make this commitment. I was driving to pick up my dog from a friend that was watching him while I was working and when she answered the door she was dressed up and looked so smoking hot. I normally don't get to see her all dressed up and wow she looked great. I smiled and thought, God you are a funny dude.
I know this is not going to be an easy thing to try and do, But I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do and I would rather be doing what I'm supposed to than doing my own thing. I may fail and might stumble but I'm going to try.
I had one of the two phone call meetings that I was hoping to have when I returned and I am happy to say that I don't think I will have to put my camera down just yet.
On the plane I met a movie producer. Long story but I gave him a sweater to wear because he was cold and a phone charger.
By the end of the flight I had a signed image of him with a famous opera singer who I still don't know who he is :-) (I need to get educated). and we exchanged info and are hoping to do something together soon. It was pretty cool hearing stories of movie sets and stars and the real life of some of the biggest names in the movies.
I think that's why I like living in LA. It is the land of big dreams. I have dreams so big they scare me sometimes how big they are.
My dog buddy seams to be pretty happy that we are both back in LA together and settling in. This morning he was so cuddly he came and got underneath my arms while I was on my phone and demanded that I give him attention.
I guess the other big thing that happened this week was I have fully converted my garage into a Painting studio and have been painting almost everyday since I have been back.
The first night I got back I had to get a bunch of emotional stuff out from the past month of traveling and I was able to finish a large canvas that I started back in 2019 from the original job that inspired all of this painting in the first place. I have not named the piece yet but I believe it is done. I might call it "Change"
I have also started painting a lot of my own clothes that I just don't wear any longer. But I will be buying random things and painting them and selling them.
I really am enjoying painting. I have no clue what im doing with any of this but I am having ao much fun in the entire process. For me it is like self discovery, every time I paint i don't know what i'm going to paint. I even don't know what colors or anything, the only painting that I have painted, that I went into knowing what I wanted; was my painting that I call "ghost."
In My last painting I used a putty knife to move paint around to create a shape that I just came up with on the spot and when I feel like it's done I stop and step back and look at it.
Almost like I'm not the one painting anything, my hands and arms are just creating something and my brain is 100% ok with any direction that it goes and has full creative control to do anything while painting. And then it starts appearing and honestly I don't even know what i am looking at half the time when I paint it's almost like looking at something trying to guess what the image is before it is fully revealed but my brain can change the final reveal so quickly with no consequence, where else in life can we make a complete change with no effect? we can't. if we change jobs? Car? wife? Style?
For me music and painting are my outlets. Photography is painting with light.
Wow, I rambled a lot.
Till next time,
Phil