Kris O'Connell
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Your words... your world.

Your words... your world.

Oct 05, 2022

"The words you use is the reality that you create." - Tony Robbins

Man, oh man…is that not one of the truest statements you'll ever hear. I'm sure we've all been around the person that has a complaint for everything. They "hate" everything or "can't stand it" or just plain point out the worst part of anything or anyone. Ugh. These people are hard to be around. It's not an easy task to sit there and listen to these people. In fact, I make an effort to either help them see some positivity or I walk away. People that say those things by accident are pretty open minded to shifting their verbiage and correcting their language. The one's that are deeply negative will only continue to argue. It feeds that black hole that operates their mind. It's almost like they need to affirm how they see things or how they talk while using you as their punching bag. They're stuck in a state of non-growth. They want to wallow in the negativity. That's absolutely fine! …just do it far far away from me.

It's easy to use words we don't truly stand behind, especially when we don't think about them. You don't "hate" the smell of catshit, it's just not preferable. You don't even care about it enough to like it, why would you put in the effort to "hate" it? Did the smell of catshit attack you when you were younger? Did it assault your family? What the hell is your vendetta against catshit? Sounds like we have some bigger issues to unravel than the smell of catshit.

These words, used over time, will continue to shift your perception of life itself. If you're speaking them out loud, you're saying them internally too. Little by little, you're feeding the 4th dimension pit of negativity, only bringing down yourself and those around you.

There is no such thing as darkness, just a lacking of light.
There is no such thing as cold, just a lacking of heat.
There is no such thing as hate, just a lacking of love.

The last one I made up, but it sounds pretty good, right? It could be possible…let's delve into it a little bit.

So I've been reading the book The Myth of Normal written by Gabor Mate. The chapters are short but the information that gets dropped on your head can be heavy like an anvil. All the issues highlighted thus far (I'm about 20%ish in) are filled with personal recollections from people that act as examples.


It seems to be a pretty viral hashtag and summarizes how a lot of people feel about the disease…and rightfully so. But there was one patient who did not look at the disease as just something you get. Cancer cells are always within us, they just get fed by accident and then stress forces an inflammatory response. When things in the body become inflamed, the immune system has a harder time fighting them.

Cancer starts, chronic or acute stress happens for elongated periods of time (trauma, environment, thought patterns like "worry"), cancer continues to grow and the immune system cannot fight it. Boom, now you "have" cancer.

The perception that the patient has is that something like an autoimmune disorder or cancer isn't so much of something that someone just "gets." It's a process. We all have some sort of issues that need working out, but between getting the kids to soccer and working an 80 workweek to make ends meet, and then trying to stay in some sort of shape…we lose track of time. Moments, minutes, hours, days start to slip by and leave us with less energy and effort that we can put into ourselves. The amount of people that sit down and meditate on their life daily has to be a minute proportion of the world's population. But we all have issues, so why wouldn't we work on ourselves to be better for those around us?

We're not "battling" or "succumbing" to these diseases. We're just not living out the process. We're not trusting that the body is telling us something and that we need to listen internally. The body/mind/spirit are all one ecosystem. Without one, the others do not flourish. So when the mind isn't well, the body is going to take a hit, which is going to affect the soul. When the body doesn't feel great, the mind doesn't operate well, then your soul is miserable. Illness can really just equate to an imbalance. It could be an imbalance of stressors on the body, imbalance of stressors on the mind, imbalance of carbohydrates to protein. Regardless... if we're balanced individuals, it's going to show.

"Fuck Cancer" is always one that has gotten me. It's an awful way to lose someone, I know. But shouldn't our focus be on the healing process and not the disease? The disease is an outcome and result of all the work we haven't done. How positive can we be when we say "fuck cancer?" If I say "fuck" anything it's either as a joke or I'm caught up in a whirlwind of anger. I'm quick to back up and rephrase, which helps me mentally realign, but this is a classic example on how the words we use creates a certain type of reality. A cancer patient needs more love then ever. Advertising how much you hate cancer on a bumper sticker is like driving around holding a burning hot coal with no one to throw it at. You're not helping the cause with your bumper sticker. Spread some love instead.

There's no "sick vs. well" battle going on. It's just a process. You might catch a cold, which would really just be your immune system breaking down (usually it's because of stress), but all you can do is work it out. It's a process. You've got to feed the body, rest, or sweat it out. We're all different and all solutions are going to be slightly different as well.

Welcome the unwelcome, it costs you nothing. There is trauma, emotion, or thoughts that we have to deal with. We cannot ignore them. The dis-ease in the mind is going to cause disease to flourish. Sit and embrace your anxiousness and see why it's knocking. Then see said reason and start to work through it. It won't be easy and it's not going to be a quick fix, but it WILL feel better afterwards. Just like a persistent little kid looking for candy, they're not going to go away. Listen, embrace, work through…and then toss the little shit a kit-kat.

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