This is the Odesa region last night. Less than 12 hours ago. It was out of town, but I still felt the shock wave when my windows jiggled. A person I follow on Twitter was closer to the explosion and she was in absolute hysterics about the sound it made. No wonder, imagine the bomb capable of destroying 5 buildings and making this hole: 
In this attack, no one died, 6 people were injured, 2 of them are children. The reason no one died was that the owners of the house that got hit directly had decided to evacuate. They are alive because they fled their home. And now they have nowhere to return. Their home is a hole in the ground.
I am getting more and more scared. I am too scared of leaving my hallway after the air raid is over. I know these walls won't save me if my house gets hit directly but mentally I feel like it's my safe place, and I am just too scared to leave it even when it's relatively safe. Tonight I just slept there the entire night, because I was too scared to sleep in my bed. Behind just 1 wall with all these windows? Nah... But that's still nothing - my friend in Kyiv who was close to the explosion yesterday still can't stop shaking and air raid sirens throw her into such panic attacks that she curls into a ball and can't move.
So I was lying there on the floor and I was trying to comfort myself by thinking that death isn't scary, I won't even know it, it will be like going to sleep, I will probably not even have the time to understand what's happening. And I'm just a little girl, in a big scale of things my death won't mean much, it won't change the outcome of this war, won't lead to some big world-changing events, I'll be just another number in a statistic. I laid there and I hoped my death would be quick, that I won't spend my last moments stuck under rubble, my bones broken, my body contorted unnaturally, bleeding out, or burning in a fire in terrible pain.
But I lived to see another day. I woke up alive and I remembered how when I was a child my parents could only afford to buy me 1 pair of shoes. And if those shoes gave me blisters - oh well, such is life. I would put band-aids on my feet, whether they helped or made it worse, I would put on my shoes and I would get on with my day. I would be in constant pain, but I'd know I can't do anything about it, so I would push it into the back of my mind and I would power through.
Today I woke up with a headache because I'd been sleeping with my teeth clenched tightly, and my toes curled up, and my breathing shallow just from stress. I am in pain all over my body, and I'm not even mentioning the obvious mental torture and exhaustion. Now I have to push it all into the back of my mind, put on my shoes, and get on with my day.