I woke up from an explosion today. Something distant - I am safe, I am fine. Stretch, yawn, off to make coffee, listening to music. Have a quick breakfast, then hop on a video call with the boss. Make jokes about "local alarm clocks" and "don't die, we've got work to do." Then the call ends, I finish sipping my now cold coffee, open the social media... and the first thing I see is a video of a man, a few blocks away, weeping over the corpse of his wife, killed by russia, by that same explosion that woke me up and that I joked about.
This will make you feel like shit.
Getting desensitized is part of a defence mechanism of the brain: it's been 5 years, you've gotta compartmentalize somehow just to keep going, if you feel all of it the entire time, you'll go insane. But also...
fuck...
fuck russia.