The Drink

The distilled beverage burns as it flows down my throat

I love the temptation of freedom which reels around my head with each swig

While simultaneously loathing the chains around my heart

Reminding me of the transgression I risk baring 

This lure of freedom taunts me

Telling me I can do whatever I wish

But the clanking chains grow louder still

Warning me of the destruction

I can’t take one step toward the darkness

Without taking two steps away from the light

The blackness excites me

But it also fills me with trepidation

Before recklessly lurching forward 

I look back at the brightness

I always look back

Because of my caution and terror

That fear and dread swallow me up

Causing my blazing soul to remain

Showing me what I gain to lose

Those passing pleasures of sin but a whisper now

I put the glass down

Knowing that I’ve at least won the battle

But bracing for the ongoing war

Of which I’m always on the brink

I recently sat down over the course of a few nights and watched The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix. It’s not just about a girl who plays chess. It’s about a girl and her demons.

As I watched each evening, I enjoyed a drink. Just one. But I couldn’t help knowing how easily any of us, including myself, could slip into that kind of downward spiral.

Jumping off that cliff would feel like freedom. Of course, we all know that freedom isn’t really free. It costs quite a lot. This is why I keep stepping back from the ledge. However, I’m not naive enough to think I won’t find myself there again and again. Satan is always presenting different temptations. I just need to keep saying no.