I haven't had the habit of reading in over a decade, although I did used to read quite a bit. To be honest, I'm partly one of those assholes who read books just in the hope of talking about books they read (although I have almost never had a conversation about a book I read). 85% of my motivations in life have been woman related, so predictably I was also motivated by the possibility of meeting a beautiful Columbia graduate student and wowing her with my erudition. I actually had the opportunity to do that....without a good result. I was talking to a woman in a Manhattan bar and I quoted D.H. Lawrence. I had just read several essays analyzing his novels. But this woman had actually read D.H. Lawrence and started talking about one of his books she liked. At the first chance I got I hightailed it out of there to prevent my utter phoniness from being discovered.
So I "read" Pynchon's short stories, breezing through it without digesting a word, just so I could one day use the word Pynchonesque. I "read" some Beckett, once again without understanding anything I was reading and not really giving a shit.
But now that I consider the matter I'm being a bit harsh on myself. As an aspiring writer I was "working", looking for inspiration. Psychologically I think I needed to convince myself that I was growing. Although a disgusting amount of my time was dedicated to the sickness of gambling and alcohol, I did manage to read (and write) enough that I could convince myself that in spite of my demonstrable shiftlessness it was all a part of my "journey" as an "artist."
Well, there was no journey but this was not time wasted, some sentences stay with me. I will never forget Primo Levi describing the women and children at Auschwitz being separated from the men, Levi would never see any of them again. They were 'swallowed by the night'....now that phrase is, in my mind, a hundred times more memorable than anything Steven Spielberg put on the screen. Even more affective than a skilled documentary, but that's just my opinion.
I remember the jolt of dopamine I felt when I read Nabokov for the first time...so when I do share a literary quotation or a moment in a novel that is imprinted in my brain it is not because I'm one of those assholes who talk about books to impress, it is always as I see it an act of generosity. I remember listening to a female novelist give a talk at Southern Connecticut State University and she said if you don't find yourself constantly rereading your favorite books that you weren't a writer. I read rarely now but if I do it is usually a book that I remember as giving me genuine pleasure. So I-generously-share the short list of books that I felt compelled to read more than once....
The Trial Kafka
American Pastoral Phil Roth
Self-Help Lorrie Moore
Lolita Nabokov
Pnin Nabokov
Pale Fire Nabokov
The Possibility of an Island Michel Houellebecq
Submission Michel Houellebecq
The Elementary Particles Michel Houellebecq
Women Bukowski
The Closing of the American Mind Allan Bloom
Love and Friendship Allan Bloom
Pure Drivel Steve Martin
Deer Park Norman Mailer
The Rat on Fire George Higgins
The Friends of Eddie Coyle George Higgins
Cogan’s Trade George Higgins
Mao II DeLillo
Survival in Auschwitz Primo Levi
Blood Meridian Cormac McCarthy
No Country for Old Men Cormac McCarthy
The Art of Fiction John Gardner
Bullet Park John Cheever
The Catcher in the Rye Salinger
Dog Soldiers Robert Stone
Masters of Atlantis Charles Portis