Hi guys! How have you been? Since the last time I wrote something long like this (on Twitter, right?), many things have improved, thank God. That time I took the time to write a lot and bother you with my unforeseen and unsolicited rant, where I told you how I had practically been scammed out of a supposed job that was already "mine" (thank God I had nothing to do with that people, never. Now that time has passed I see how it was a blessing in disguise,) and the personal reasons why all this was like a puch in the face.
The main improvement is in my mental health. I've been feeling better. At the time I didn't know how bad it was, but time passed and I've been recognizing how devastated, by everything, I felt every single day. This is a topic that has become a bit cliché, but the truth is that it is actually really impressive how the human mind works. I'm in a better place, mentally speaking, and I thank God for that.
The job. Those people I told you about and their supposed company turned out to be a scam. They shut down the site, they didn't call anyone... Today I thank God and the Universe for that. If that's how they "treated" me and lied to me when I wasn't their employee, what kind of situation was I going to face once I signed a contract? It's scary just to think about it.
I have been working a little and sporadically, both from home and from libraries. As I told you, I am a freelancer (I am not going to detail my area much, but it has to do with social media, computers...) and it has been better for me. I'm not rich at all, the jobs are not very well paid, but, strangely, I have felt satisfied... or even happy. I have been able to help my brother a little. He is the person who welcomed me and allows me to live with him without conditions nor interests, despite the fact that he also had his setbacks at work.
The ModelsFacts YouTube channel has also been a huge blessing in my life during this time. Although it has not generated any money for me so far and the numbers are not "WOW", it has been a way for me to empty, pour out, get a lot of creativity out of me, and also a way to reconnect with my greatest passion: high fashion modeling and everything that entails. I have learned a lot and I have also received a lot of support, which I will always be grateful for.
In general, as you can see, I've done well... very well. Better. And this is largely thanks to you. I've been sleeping better, drinking more water, going for walks more... My mind has been busy and my heart grateful.
Now my plans are to help my brother afford a better place, with normal-sized rooms and no musty smell, give it my all this coming season with my YouTube series of the Best Runway Models a.k.a. Best Catwalkers, and have everything prepared for the end of the year content that excites me very much.
Money is still a problem. I haven't known what stability is for years, unfortunately. To know that everything has a solution and it will eventually come, helps me. But despite that, my body and mind only know to react very badly to stressful situations and I can't fully control how I deal with difficulties. That is why today, once again, I turn to you.
A big expense that I didn't see coming CAME and all my money went with it. Now I am, once again, in the red. I don't spend my money on alcohol, I don't eat out in fancy cafes, I don't smoke (nothing,) I don't buy clothes, I don't buy unnecessary things either... I came to like the Spotify web player (it's free)... Whatever I earn, I spend it on groceries, on helping my brother with Netflix, phone bill, water, power, gas... And even so, my money vanishes, and this time it vanished much faster.
Therefore, deeply ashamed and embarrassed, I come here to ask you - well, to let you know that if you want to help me monetarily, I would appreciate it immensely. Any, seriously!, ANY amount is welcomed with much gratitude and love. Those of us who don't have a lot of money know the REAL VALUE of every penny. Thanks a lot.