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Through the eyes of a Sociopath: Entry 4

Through the eyes of a Sociopath: Entry 4

Aug 08, 2021

83… that is the number of people i have killed since 2002. All of them were bad people. I found pedophiles, catching some in the act of trying to convince a child to climb into their car for “a ride home” or because they claimed to know the child’s parents. Typical bullshit that they tell people to watch out for. The difference between others and myself, i fucking hate pedophiles….. And I rid the world of such filth, with great pride I might add.

I have also killed rapists. You may not believe me, or understand this coming from a sociopath, but it infuriates me when someone violates another person just because the victim is weaker than them. I am disgusted by rapists and child molesters. They are the greatest filth that exists in this world.

There have been several pedophiles and rapists whose life has been cut short simply because they have crossed my path but of all of my victims, my favorite was Alberto Sanchez, a serial killer.

I learned about Alberto when his third victim was found in the playground down the street from where I live. It was the body of a young woman named Cassandra Benson, a beautiful 22 year old woman with jet black hair and pale skin, just like the 2 victims before her. It wasn't hard to figure out that she was a victim of a serial killer, but the police didn't want to scare the public so they just called it a tragic death. I knew the truth and now I had something to occupy my free time, I got to hunt for the killer.

Now, I’m not some criminal hunting vigilante but I decided that this was something I needed to do. See, the way that I saw it was that if there was a second serial killer in my hunting grounds, then the authorities might happen across one or more of my victims and I wasn't going to risk that.

The strange thing was that I hadn't been searching for long when Alberto found me. I found a hand held mirror on my pillow when i went to my room to go to bed. The mirror had one word written in blood on the glass, “Same”. I knew what he was saying, he was trying to claim that he and I were the same, a reflection of each other. Well fuck that, this guy had killed 3 women because they looked like this guys mother or daughter or a girl who said no to him in high school or something equally as idiotic.

I kept the mirror, i mean as much as i was disgusted by this person, i was also flattered in some strange way. It didn’t make sense to me why the killer thought we were the same. Whatever the reason, i had to fucking kill him. I thought a lot about how I was going to find them, but then they surprised me by showing up at my home with a package.

There was a knock at my door, which was odd because you needed to be buzzed in to get into my building, so either they were let in by someone else or it was someone who also lived in my building. Well, I opened the door and a man stood there with a large grin on his face. In his hands was something wrapped in white paper and held closed with twine… like meat from a butcher shop.

I’m going to pause the story to tell you that I have a few rules with the flesh I consume. I don't eat the brain, prions are fucking creepy to me and if you don’t know what im talking about, look it up… better yet, look up mad cows disease because that is caused by a prion. I also don't eat all of my victims. Let's be real, some people are gross, with disgusting habits and those habits can taint the meat. Smoking, drinking, drugs… all that can spoil the meat. Finally, and this rule is an odd one because this is the only time that a situation has presented itself but I don't accept meat from people. I don't do mystery meat.

Anyway, so there Alberto stood, in my doorway with a grin, holding an offering of meat. What was I supposed to do, invite him in? Offer to cook that gift for us to share a meal together? Fuck that. I pulled my knife from its holster on my belt and just held it while I stared at him. Eventually his joyous expression faded and… he left.

There wasn’t much craziness between us before the night came that he made the stupid choice to just follow me and he interrupted me during a kill. For you, it may not be common knowledge but taking a life is a very intimate thing and walking in on that is like walking in on someone having sex. Alberto overstepped when he came in during such a private time.

Well there I stood, covered in blood from my victim and Alberto stared at me with wide, amazed eyes. He stepped closer, admiring the scene he walked into and I buried my knife into his eye socket.

Yeah yeah, I know. It wasn't some elaborate cat and mouse game, I’m sorry my life isn't a cinema but rarely is any of it really like it is in the movies. The victim I killed before Alberto came in, I had forgotten about him. And when it was all done, Alberto was the one that I carved some meat from. I disposed of the bodies together in my usual way, one that I won't tell you for my own safety, and then I went home to watch some TV and get some sleep.

I know, 83 either sounds like a lot to you or doesn't sound like shit. But after 18 years with about 5 kills a year, give or take, the numbers tend to build a bit. It is interesting though that after 18 years, I’m still not even on the radar of the police. They have found a few of my victims bodies but there hasn’t been much that came of it. They ruled the deaths as suicide or accidents, clearly the victims found weren't ones I carved dinner from.

Or maybe there is no investigation because of who and what my victims are. Every one of them have a long history of being a creep so… maybe they are just not worth missing? Whatever it may be, it's kinda funny to think that this world cares so little about a murderer that takes out the trash. But i think this entry is reaching its conclusion. I worked last night so I'm exhausted and my son is just waking up. My favorite part of working overnights is that some freak isn't raising my son, I am. I get to spend the days with him, yes some days i am just so tired that it makes me a little crabby but i try not to let my son see my exhaustion.

But until my next post, enjoy this recipe!

~4-5 lbs of “beef” trimmed and tied

~2 tbsp olive oil

~1 tbsp salt

~1 tbsp black pepper

~4 cloves of garlic

~1 white onion

-Preheat oven to 500 degrees.

-Pat dry meat with a paper towel and set on a roasting pan. Cover the meat with the olive oil, salt and pepper

-Cut the onion and spread around the roast in pan

-place a full clove of garlic in each corner of the pan

-drizzle oil on onion and garlic

-Roast for 22 to 25 minutes

-remove beef and cover with aluminum foil and let it rest at room temp for 20 minutes.

-Remove the string and slice to serve.

P.S. I'm not sure how much longer i will have this diary set to public but if you want to read more of my exploits, or have questions that you would like answered, you will have to subscribe! i know how it sounds but fuck it, im a sociopath, do you think i have an issue with asking for money? nope. but it will be quite entertaining so go ahead and do it, then ask some questions

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