Superpower: Creating Life
I never imagined having 5 children, in fact I went to the doctor after not having a period for 2 years to be told I wouldn’t be able to conceive a baby naturally, then 3 other ‘second opinions’ said the same.
Then by some miracle one day I found myself pregnant in what would not be considered the most ideal circumstances having only known my unborn baby's father a couple of weeks... but I was shocked, and delighted.
This was my miracle baby.
I had another 2 children and then sadly we separated. I met someone else who wanted a child and I ended up having another 2. Now I’m a very proud mum to 5 very unique individuals.
Here are the top 5 things my children have taught me!
1. The more kids you have, the easier it gets.
This is true because you have experience & wisdom on your side. My first child I wasn’t able to breastfeed well, it was stressful and with social workers and other people interfering it went from bad to worse, my stress levels were high and I had to resort to formula. My 4th child I breastfed for 13 months with total ease, and could have easily continued but decided it was enough. With my current baby, who is almost 3 months now, is exclusively breastfed, and a chubby little thing!
Fun Fact: Did you know at birth some doctors here in Egypt prescribe formula as something you have to give the baby from day one, in addition to breastfeeding... Just don't get that...
2. Spacing (in terms of age) matters.
My eldest is 15 and my youngest is 0, my 15 year old is pretty self-sufficient so the space does matter in terms of the work involved in raising children. My older children need me but for different things, not to change a nappy or help go to sleep, so the requirements are different and therefore it isn’t like having 5 children is the same as having 5 babies.
3. You can enjoy it more.
With my first 2 children I was really feeling the pressure of raising them, and I was working a lot, still learning about how it all works and in my 20’s it didn’t feel natural as such. My middle child was a bit easier, and felt like I was able to enjoy the moments more, but it’s not until I get to my last child that I can be fully present physically and mentally with them because I allow myself to do that now. I don’t mind the rest of the world stopping around me while I pause to enjoy a cuddle or breastfeed or play. Nothing is more important than those moments, but you have to allow yourself to enjoy them without the guilt that you should be doing other things.
4. Patience.
With my first kids I really wanted everything to be perfect, I read SuperNanny, Jo Frost's books and watched her TV shows like my life depended on it, I found rituals to get kids bathed and in bed by certain times, play a certain way, manage best behaviour, eat and drink nicely at the table, clothes clean etc… you know how you feel parenting kids should be to create these little angels… well after 5 you realise that the rules can be broken, you can drop the ball, you can lose your cool, you can let them stay up late until they pass out, and eat too many sweets sometimes, you can enjoy wine while they watch TV and the front room looks like an explosion in a toy factory and it’s all still okay. They will live to see another day wearing a dirty shirt and with a chocolatey mouth.
5. The cliche that they grow up so fast...
They do, oh they really do. You think you have time but you don’t, as before you know it they're planning their exit, craving their independence, talking back at you, ignoring the rules, and you never know what mood they will be in when they wake up. I don’t believe that means they love us any less, but you won’t ever get the same relationship you had when they were little. I'm one of those mums who looks back on my life and what I was like, and I was never perfect, far from it, I broke some rules, and I don't expect my kids to follow everything to the letter, because they need a parent, they need a friend and they need to be given a degree of freedom, but still loved and have the comfort of knowing you're still there.
I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old and I see the huge differences in them in such a short space of time... This is my last baby (I hope!) and I intend to make the most of every second, because I might have a long gap until my grandchildren arrive!