My grandfather, George Lang, died laughing. At least that is the story told in our family. Grampy had a laugh that I can still hear in my head, although it’s been over half a century since his passing. It was sort of like Barney Rubble on the Flintstones. He was on his way to get a new car way back in 1971. He was riding in the back while my aunt and uncle were up front. Having told a joke, he laughed and died. It was a nice way to go.
It got me thinking about Vitamin L deficiency.
I suffer from Vitamin L deficiency. I realize that I hardly laugh these days on a regular basis. The idea of laughing at something funny, such as a show on television or a good conversation with a friend is an important thing to have in one’s life. And I am not alone for not laughing as much as I should. According to the Verywell website: healthy children may laugh as much as 400 times per day, but adults tend to laugh only 15 times per day.
For me, laughter is one of the indicators of Joy. To be in a state of Joy is something that requires mindfulness. Just like physical exercise can benefit the body a lot, laughter can help condition the body to handle stress, improve one’s outlook on life in general and eventually bring about a state of Joy.
Most comics I know ended up as comedians due to some sort of tragedy in their life. They were able to tap into humor and laughter as a coping mechanism and in a means of serving as a natural antidepressant. But being humorous and a comedian are not a guarantee that one can find joy or avoid being depressed. I often think about Robin Williams and how hearing of his suicide made me realize that just because you can make people laugh, you don’t necessarily laugh yourself. And I felt betrayed by him because my Vitamin L deficiency made me expect him and others to give me that “fix.” Now I learned that he was unhappy, dead and human, like me.
It has been a life’s work on myself to be my own source of laughter and Joy. One challenge is to surrender my ego when it comes to humor and laughter. If you are like me, there are days when I have to realign my sense of self. I have to take on the active search for laughter. I usually can find it with reruns of Frasier or Curb Your Enthusiasm. But that sort of laughter is like getting a booster shot. The deficiency can return.
Vitamin L has to come from the inside. A sign that I am heading toward a serious deficiency is that I have a tendency to compare myself to others and then judge myself that I am not successful or talented or handsome or take your pick.
That negative thinking is what I call “learned lesions.”
They don’t heal completely. At least for myself. Such lesions come from people who have one way or another wounded us. These people had access to our vulnerability, whether they be family or friends. They knew (sometimes innately) just where to wound. Then we took the wound and ran with it. We choose to make such wounds part of what we hold true about ourselves.
For myself, I have to manage them, be aware of their capacity to cause pain when triggered. Sure, they still hurt, but not as much and for not as long. Therefore, the wound is one that is there, but I learn to identify it for what it is, when it happened and how I have adapted to it.
Vitamin L helps me manage to not take my life so seriously. To tell myself that I am not a hostage of the wounds I carry. To accept what I am capable of improving and letting go of the rest, the wound-givers and myself, the wound-taker.
Finding laughter beyond entertainment is the need for being with people who support us regardless of what baggage we carry. Those people are the ones that themselves are supporting themselves in the same fashion. We learn to celebrate our own human flaws, poke fun at them and release any pain as laughter.
One of the great joys in my life is bringing such connections to a wide audience. There is that sense of tapping into the energy of Joy, which usually moves as humor and laughter. That is why it takes hours for me to wind down from a show. And when I do finally wind down, I feel a sense of peace. That is an indicator when I am getting enough Vitamin L in my life.
However, the idea that such a state can be perpetually possible is not possible unless the intention is kept alive. It has to be exercised. And avoiding emotional complacency about being happy is what compels me to seek out Vitamin L in the first place.
If I choose to be happy, I seek humor in others and myself. And when I do, I find myself laughing and enjoying life. And if I die laughing, that’s great---as long as I get the last laugh.
Like this blog? Read Martin's other blog from his website here.